Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Other, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and measures are required.

Selected pie charts represent information about
populations
Correct article usage
the populations
show examples
of Yemen and Italy, which
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
divided into groups by
age
, in 2000 and projections for 2050. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that in both countries the
number
of
people
in almost all
age
groups will show similar tendencies, except for the group that includes
people
aged from 15 to 59. More precisely, pie charts about Yemen show that the
number
of
people
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
0 to 14 will noticeably decrease from 50,1% to 37%.
However
, the
number
of
people
aged from 15 to 59 and from 60 and older will rise by 11% and 2,1% respectively. Pie charts about Italy illustrate that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
number
of
people
aged from 15 to 59 will have a significant drop by 15%. The
number
of
people
at the
age
of 60 and above will almost double, finishing at 42,3%. And
lastly
Change the word
last
show examples
but not least the
number
of
people
aged from 0 to 14 will only marginally decline by 2,8%. Overall, over the period from 2000 to 2050 in both
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
there are not going to be drastic changes in the numbers of
people
in different
age
groups.
Submitted by shpona86 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
What to do next:
Look at other essays: