In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanatages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #advanatages #message

Actually,

boys

under ten years old are overstimulated, because they have different teaching and learning methods. Across the globe rise a new tendency that

say

Change the verb form

says

show examples

they can achieve anything in their lives if work hard. Initiating the benefits of the same should be more positive will be the children in school age, so in the

Remove the comma

apply

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future they can believe in

herself

Correct pronoun usage

themselves

show examples

and grow their

skills

. Normally loving parents want to support their sons throughout whole their lives but that idea is virtually impossible.

However

, that support becomes an advantage in the middle childhood years above all in adolescence. Is a fact,

when

Correct word choice

that

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sharing new

skills

among young

boys

in school, house, and sports, is the best way to improve their ability to get successful results in adult life.

In contrast

, some disadvantages are many families around the world start to get less support for their

boys

consequently

an overload of positive ideas that will make them dreamers

boys

without knowledge of the challenge of life.

For instance

, send

boys

to schools or military academies when hard work and real-life experiences will make them stronger persons. ,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Secondly

Add a comma

,Secondly

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the children should make their own experience over

practice

Correct article usage

the practice

show examples

learning

Change preposition

of learning

show examples

way,

for example

in farms, factories,

workshops

Correct word choice

and workshops

show examples

. To conclude, the balance between a good couch and practice

skills

in the works field

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

will be a great reason why the future generations grow on heavy-duty behaviour and improve their soft

skills

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show examples

all levels. While society preserves good quality education system that idea makes

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oflot

Correct your spelling

lot

sense in all classes.

Submitted by edbaezp on Sun Nov 20 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advanatages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

The gap between the rich and the poor is becoming wider; the rich are becoming richer and the poor are even getting poorer. Some people think that governments are responsible for this issue, and others think it is the responsibility of individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous government's expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Disucss both these view and give your own opinions.