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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people argue that capital punishment is good for the country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #punishment #country
The price of
crime
 Nowadays, there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 countries with capital punishment,
only
Correct word choice
and only
show examples
 a few keep
this
 tradition alive, like some states in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
This
 is due to human
Correct your spelling
rights
righs
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rights
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increasing
Correct your spelling
around
aroun
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around
 the world.
However
, what happens with criminals who
released
Add a missing verb
are released
show examples
Correct your spelling
prison
Change preposition
from prision
show examples
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
 and when they are free come back to
crime
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 Thereby, a
lot
 of
people
 think that for some criminals capital punishment is the best option to finish
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that circle. I agree with
this
 statement and
this
 paper focuses on capital punishment. As I see it, there are in the whole world a
lot
 of
Correct your spelling
prisons
prisions
Correct your spelling
prisons
, which are
overpopulet
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overpopulated
overpopulate
.
That's produce
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That's produced
That's producing
show examples
a bad
Correct the article-noun agreement
bad life conditions
a bad life condition
show examples
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
 conditions
,
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apply
show examples
 because in one room can be a
lot
 of
persons
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people
show examples
, nobody cleans the jail and the
Add a hyphen
higher-ups
show examples
higher ups
Add a hyphen
higher-ups
show examples
 let them die.
Moreover
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some sick
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
, who when they get out
Correct your spelling
prison
Change preposition
of prision
show examples
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can't be without
make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 a
crime
 and they say it. One example here in Spain is the murder of Laura Luelmo. Her
murdered
Replace the word
murderer
show examples
 was in
Correct your spelling
prison
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
 and he asked
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
 there because if he went out, he would kill again. Nobody
listened
Add the preposition
tolistened
show examples
 him and the worst happened. The same happens with rapists, the numbers say that
people
 who make that
crime
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
 reinsert
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and again come back to
crime
.
Also
, a big problem with the overpopulated jails is the amount to keep
that criminals
Change the determiner
that criminal
those criminals
show examples
. The governments are spending a
lot
 of money to give to that
people
 food, bed, work and so on. Things, which
people
 they killed can't have. To sum up,
im
Correct your spelling
I'm
 the
first
 one who believes in the
second
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opportunities
oportunities
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opportunities
, but not in the thirds nor in
fourths
Correct article usage
the fourths
show examples
. You have to be consequent with your acts and know that the bad acts have
bad
Add an article
a bad
show examples
 impact.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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