IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals would like to work for similar companies throughout their working life,
while
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 others and I believe that switching career spaces is better for them, which can be achieved through working in different companies. On the one hand, there are some reasons why some employees prefer to avoid changing their
organization
Use synonyms
. First of all, they think that any change in the workplace can
be impacted
Wrong verb form
impact
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 their work quality because of the new work environment.
For example
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, somebody who is new in an
organization
Use synonyms
, perhaps cannot adapt to the new situation quickly which leads to performance reduction.
In addition
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, working in a new
organization
Use synonyms
needs
Verb problem
requires one
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 to
relate
Verb problem
work
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 with new workers who may have various cultures
that it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 can be hard for some people.
On the other hand
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, some individuals and I opine that working for a different
organization
Use synonyms
 is a good choice. Working in a new workspace helps to get new
experiences
Use synonyms
. It means when someone enters a new company, so, he will have an opportunity to obtain a range of
experiences
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 via working with new colleagues who have great
experiences
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.
Also
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, there are new people in
this
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 place who are skilled, and he can connect with these experts in order to improve his skills or abilities.
For instance
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, he can develop the knowledge which
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 in his specific job field.
To sum up
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, employees have their own reasons to stay in the same job or switch careers.
However
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, some people and I think that changes in working life lead to acquiring new
experiences
Use synonyms
 and developing skills or abilities.

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content
Task Response: You have addressed the prompt and presented both views effectively. However, ensure a balanced discussion of the views and provide a clear opinion.
structure
Coherence and Cohesion: The logical structure is generally clear, but there are areas where the logic could be improved, particularly in the development of the opposing views. Ensure cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas.
vocabulary
Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is fairly varied, but some inaccuracies and lack of precision hinder the communication of ideas. Work on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensure accuracy.
grammar
Grammatical Range: There are some issues with sentence structure and verb tense consistency. Work on varying sentence structure and ensure consistent use of verb tenses.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
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