Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is
irrefutable
Correct article usage
an irrefutable
show examples
fact that sports players have been attributed to helping form stronger societal bonds and boosting self-esteem for the younger generation.
Linking Words
While others
Correct word choice
Others
show examples
reject
this
Linking Words
notion by saying they
also
Linking Words
have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
impact on
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
. In my opinion, the former preposition appears more rational and in
this
Linking Words
essay, I will shed light on
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
facts
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thus
Linking Words
leading to a logical conclusion.
To begin
Linking Words
with, there are myriad
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reasons which will
further
Linking Words
elaborate the trend but the most preponderant
one
Use synonyms
stems from the fact that sports leaders can
also
Linking Words
play an important
role
Use synonyms
in addressing and raising awareness of key societal issues.
In other words
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
pandemic
Correct article usage
the pandemic
show examples
time, Sports
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
and various celebs
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have stepped up, trying to stop the spread of COVID-19. Another pivotal aspect of
this
Linking Words
trend is that most of the youth
Use synonyms
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
follows
Correct subject-verb agreement
follow
show examples
the same steps of
ladder
Add an article
the ladder
show examples
to reach the platform
like
Replace the word
as
show examples
their
role
Use synonyms
models do. To exemplify
this
Linking Words
, India great MS Dhoni said Sachin Tendulkar was his cricketing
role
Use synonyms
model and idol
while
Linking Words
he grew up dreaming of becoming a cricketer. He received
such
Linking Words
inspiration from his
role
Use synonyms
model and passionately achieved his success. On the other side, some masses believe that athletes
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have millions of followers on their social media platforms, so if youngster sees their
role
Use synonyms
champ doing the wrong thing they too will follow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suit and it will dramatically affect the thinking process of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their followers.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
Pradeep Sangwan, who played for Kolkata Knight Riders in the sixth edition of the Indian Premier League in 2013, was the first Indian professional cricketer to be banned after he had tested positive for a prohibited steroid which was found in his urine sample
this
Linking Words
threw bad image in front of the followers.
Moreover
Linking Words
, with the help of internet
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
every fan can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the academic achievement of their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
player and
that is
Linking Words
not acceptable by many parents for their child because their child
also
Linking Words
tried to take steps of the inspirational
one
Use synonyms
. To recapitulate,
according to
Linking Words
the aforementioned above
one
Use synonyms
can reach to
conclusion
Add an article
the conclusion
a conclusion
show examples
that
follows
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the positive side of the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
opponent is instrumental and beneficial to
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
their
Change the word
the
show examples
new
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
generation.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
Add a comma
Nevertheless,
show examples
its potential drawbacks should not be overlooked either.
Submitted by sharma.divya.nid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both points of view and providing a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion need to be more developed and clearly state the main points of the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exemplify
  • perseverance
  • discipline
  • humble beginnings
  • motivate
  • inspire
  • teamwork
  • sportsmanship
  • negative behavior
  • drug abuse
  • unlawful activities
  • sensationalizes
  • unrealistic
  • unattainable standards
  • material success
  • skewed value system
  • high visibility
  • magnifies
  • faults
  • misleading
What to do next:
Look at other essays: