IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #job #satisfaction #security
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According to the world scenario today every person needs a
job
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 to live. But most
people
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 assume that
job
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satisfaction
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 is more vital than
job
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 security and others believe that
people
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 don’t need
job
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satisfaction
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, having a permanent
job
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 is enough to lead a lifestyle. The following essay will illustrate more regarding both opinions and in the latter ,part I will provide my opinion. To commence with, I believe that
work
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 pleasure is far more important than having a
job
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 permanently. Today
people
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work
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 day and night to fulfil their requirements, and employers are forcing their employees to
work
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 more than the given limit in order to compete with other competitors in the
job
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 market.
As a result
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, at a very young ,age individuals get depressed due to their jobs which
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to diverse diseases
such
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 as obesity and diabetes. As an example, one of my friends was earning a huge pile of money as she was a permanent employee in the IT business industry but at the end of the day she was stressed and she was not satisfied with the
work
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 environment.
Hence
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, more than the
job
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 a person has, it is important to consider the
satisfaction
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 you get from the
job
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 to continue it
further
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,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
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people
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 easily get fed up with jobs in a short time period.
On the other hand
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, it is true in
this
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 competitive
job
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 industry
people
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 cannot find
job
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satisfaction
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, if they have a permanent
job
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 they have to hold that
job
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 because there are hundreds of employees who are unemployed. As the unemployment rate is increasing, the number of
people
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 who are trying to stay in their
job
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 is high even though the pay rates are low and the pressure of
work
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 is high. According to research, the unemployment rate around the globe is 45% which is extremely high.
Therefore
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, humans cannot always find a perfect and desired
work
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 environment to
work
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 they have to fulfil their needs with whatever
job
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 they have. To conclude, I believe that
job
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satisfaction
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 is important in order to continue the
job
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 and have a stress-free lifestyle,
however
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, the
job
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 market is very competitive so holding into one
job
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 can be considered.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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