Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as Olympic games and world cup competition have played an increasing important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree?

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There is no denying that since

sports

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are done by

people

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, these are part of our lives. From the past to nowadays

sports

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continue to be developed by year

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apply

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. In

this

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way, numerous competitions are made

such

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as the Olympic

games

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and world cups. While some

people

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claim that these events are significant in the community, others consider that they are a massive waste of money, time and effort. I totally disagree, those competitions provide many opportunities not only for

people

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but

also

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countries

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To begin

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with, nowadays the events,

such

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as volleyball, running, and football which are getting more popular are arranged by

sports

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management. The goal is to determine the best country or team in the various

games

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. Thanks to these kinds of

sports

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, many

countries

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can obtain foreign currency which is the most essential for development.

For instance

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, countless fans who support their teams do shopping before the match, so they start to purchase something,

such

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as carpets, souvenirs, and postcards

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apply

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and

also

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eat traditional foods. Because of the fact that different currency enters the country, these currencies contribute to the development of

countries

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In addition

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, society who live in various

countries

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can have opinions

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and

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preconceptions about other

people

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However

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, when an event can be organized in divergent states, other teams' fans do not want to travel around there

first

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Then

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, they decided to come to

this

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event, and they see that other

people

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are not as bad as they think. Thanks to the competition, countless society is connected to each other well.

Therefore

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, even if the

games

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are finished, they would like to come again.

Consequently

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, bad thoughts are broken effortlessly. In conclusion, even though

games

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are thought

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of as

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a waste of time and money by

people

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, because of

above

Correct article usage

the above

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these

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apply

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reasons, not only much money can be gained but

also

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people

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build good relationships together. I hope these sorts of events continue every time.

Submitted by louiee1907 on Tue Nov 22 2022

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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Over the past fifty years, international sports events such as Olympic games and world cup competition have played an increasing important role in our society. However, many people think such events are an enormous waste of money, time and effort. Do you agree?

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t. Discuss both these points of views and give your own opinion.

Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answeers and include relevant examples from your own knowlwdge or experience.

Despite a large number of gyms , salandry lifestyle is still gaining popularity, What problem cause by this,