Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is not a secret that our time is named
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
and breakthrough era. A lot of new things invented in the
last
150 years,
so
Correct word choice
and
show examples
one of them is social
life
. Some kind of
people
in
opinion
Add an article
the opinion
an opinion
show examples
that social
life
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
them live more sociable, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think that social
media
make their
life
less sociable. Absolutely,
media
technologies changed our
life
in many ways, and it makes or persons more sociable in my eyes.
This
essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
both views, and provide a conclusion with my opinion. It is cannot be seen, but our
life
directly depends
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
social and
media
trends. So by social
media
people
can make communication with others without going out,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
appointments and
other
Add a missing verb
do other
show examples
things that
people
used in the
last
century.
In
addition
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,addition
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there are not only phones or laptops to make our
life
more sociable
,
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but,
show examples
also
smart furniture can do it.
For
instance
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,instance
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with full smart house
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
equipments
Add a comma
,equipments
show examples
people
can find more time to hang out with friends or family.
However
, some
people
believe that
technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
show examples
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
our
life
less sociable. I guess
that is
because of a lot of headlines like “internet addiction”. It is
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
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type of disease when victims cannot imagine their lives without
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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, and spend day after the day in front of
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
. In my opinion that the reason, why some
people
think that our
life
becomes less sociable
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
to modern
technology
. To sum up, with modern
technology
people
changed their
life
in many directions, and makes up a lot of
people
more and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
members of society. I believe that situation in future will change, and
technology
will help
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
in their
life
.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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