some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to attract young people, while others think the purpose of museum should be educated.discuss both view and give opinion.

#people #museum #places #purpose

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Nowadays,

museums

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are

essential

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an essential

show examples

part of human-being. It helps to bind

people

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with roots. Here, the debate is that

museums

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should use only for

education

Replace the word

educational

show examples

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

;

however

Linking Words

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

think that amusement is essential for

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tourism

turism

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tourism

attrection

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attraction

attractions

This

Linking Words

essay intends to discuss both perspectives. I, personally side with

former

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the former

show examples

view.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there

are

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show examples

number

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a number

the number

show examples

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reasons

resons

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reasons

Change preposition

for

show examples

people

Use synonyms

who opine that

museum

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Add a missing verb

are use

show examples

use

Replace the word

used

show examples

only as a form of education.

Firstly

Linking Words

, in

Use synonyms

museum

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the museum

a museum

show examples

, information regarding culture and tradition is provided

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that

tgat

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that

need to be

study

Wrong verb form

studied

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some

people

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; especially history students, visit

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Add an article

the museum

a museum

show examples

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

in order to learn different things. If any kind of

Correct your spelling

amusement

amusment

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amusement

is provided here,

then

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

feel distracted and cannot gain

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abundance

abundant

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an abundund

show examples

abundund

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abundance

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knowledge

knowladge

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knowledge

Thus

Linking Words

, they may feel

detach

Wrong verb form

detached

show examples

with

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from

show examples

information.

For instance

Linking Words

, nowadays,

museums

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start to ban any sort of devices.

Thus

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can enjoy

study

Wrong verb form

studying

show examples

without any barriers.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, those who opine that

Correct your spelling

entertainment

entertaiment

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entertainment

is important.

Firstly

Linking Words

, if

Use synonyms

museum

Correct article usage

the museum

show examples

provides both

enjoyment

Change to a plural noun

enjoyments

show examples

as well as information,

then

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

, who find

Correct your spelling

boring

boarding

Correct pronoun usage

it boaring

show examples

boaring

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boring

to visit

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museum

Add an article

the museum

a museum

show examples

, may visit it as a form of picnic

places

Fix the agreement mistake

place

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

tourist

turist

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tourists

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from

show examples

various places prefer

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

Add an article

the museum

a museum

show examples

museum

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museums

show examples

which provide both

Correct your spelling

facilities

facalities

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facilities

as they are getting more

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benefits

benifits

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benefits

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for

show examples

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

amount of money

likewise

Linking Words

;

Use synonyms

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

used

Add a missing verb

are used

show examples

for only study

purpose

Fix the agreement mistake

purposes

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, undoubtabally,

sales

Correct article usage

the sales

show examples

Correct your spelling

revenue

revenve

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revenue

Change preposition

for

show examples

museums

Use synonyms

,where these facilities are

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available

avilable

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available

, is high in comparison with others. To sum up,

although

Linking Words

, it is

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beneficial

benificial

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beneficial

to use

Use synonyms

Add an article

the museum

show examples

museum

Fix the agreement mistake

museums

show examples

for purpose of education, providing

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both

bith

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both

aspects may helpful

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for

show examples

fir

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for

show examples

not only

visitors

Change preposition

for visitors

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

for revenue of sales.

Submitted by mansikalvani9 on Tue Nov 22 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
70
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

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some people think that museum should be enjoyable places to attract young people, while others think the purpose of museum should be educated.discuss both view and give opinion.

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In some countries the government promotes public transport as the primary means of transportation, and discourages private vehicle ownership. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's worl, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think eating meat is bad for health. Do you agree or disagree?