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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #outweigh
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World
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The world
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 is developing constantly, so nowadays technology
have
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has
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 been improved significantly. That led to changing
children
Use synonyms
's leisure activities. In
this
Linking Words
essay
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,essay
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 both drawbacks and benefits of the issue will be
Correct your spelling
discussed
disscused
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discussed
.
However
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,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
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 of
gadgets
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 since childhood might create
irrevitable
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irresistible
irritable
 negative consequences for a new generation.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost, technological development
resulted
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inresulted
fromresulted
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 decrease
of
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in
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 the time,
children
Use synonyms
 spend outdoors.
Linking Words
This days
Change the determiner
This day
These days
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 it became noticeable that youngsters prefer online
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entertainment
entertaiment
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entertainment
 rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
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 open-air activities. It was approved that
gadgets
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 are extremely addictive, especially for younger people.
Consequently
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,
sedentary
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a sedentary
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 lifestyle may lead to obesity and
lack
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a lack
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 of social skills. As well as there
are
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is
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 a lot of sensitive content, that can have a
bed
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bad
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 impact on
children
Use synonyms
's emotional health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it became challenging to control young people's actions online. Due to statistics,
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 psychological impact
from
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of
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gadgets
Use synonyms
for
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on
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children
Use synonyms
's unstable mental health increases every year.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, technology
enable
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enables
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 a lot of educational opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, with a usual
smartphone
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,smartphone
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 it is easy to find any information
by
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with
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 only one click. As well as, books are available online, so every person can download
it
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them
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 and read
it
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them
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 in
the
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their
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 free time.
Big
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A big
The big
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 number of developing and educational material is available online. With the right use of
gadgets
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,
children
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 can develop themselves and gain new
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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. In the summary,
lifestyle
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the lifestyle
a lifestyle
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 of modern
children
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 is changing with new technologies. Even though
,
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apply
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 it has
certain
Add an article
a certain
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 positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
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for
Change preposition
on
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 the new generation, it can create negative consequences with unsupervised overuse of
gadgets
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. So,
children
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 should use new technologies with caution and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not forget about outdoor activities and socialising with people in person.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • new technologies
  • children
  • free time
  • access
  • educational resources
  • information
  • development
  • key skills
  • enhancing
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • opportunity
  • connect
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • lack
  • physical activity
  • potential
  • health issues
  • impact
  • social
  • emotional development
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • addiction
  • dependency
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