IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic. Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#topic #information #technology #aspects #lives #home #leisure #work #activities
We strive in a world of constant change
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especially
especailly
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especially
 when we are surrounded by
information
technology
. Undeniably, in recent years computers, phones and other
devices
 have become part of our daily lives. Usage of these
machineries
Change the wording
machinery
types of machinery
pieces of machinery
show examples
extensivelly
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extensively
 in our study, work, leisure or home is sparkling many
dabates
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debates
 in our community. Some people argue that
Information
technology
influencing
Wrong verb form
influences
show examples
 people's
mind
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minds
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 in
negative
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a negative
show examples
 way, while others support the idea of IT
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becoming
becomming
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becoming
 part of our life.
This
 essay shall discuss both benefits and harms of
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Information
Infromation
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Information
technology
 and what consequences it might entail.
First
 of all, we should look
to
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at
show examples
 ITs' origins. Its beginning date goes back to the 1960s when many technologies that we know today
were
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was
show examples
 invented at
this
 stage and led to a revolutionary development in
information
technology
. With the advent of the
first
 ,computers we were able to create and store data intelligence. Shortly after the concept of
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 was introduced thanks to computer scientists that made
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information
infromation
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information
 exchange internationally available. And so the development of IT surged from that point onwards, making our daily
live
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life
show examples
 much easier with gadgets and
devices
. Nowadays none of us can survive without our
belowed
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beloved
devices
, since they have become our companions, little helpers in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
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 activities like housework, leisure activities and cooking activities.
Nonetheless
, even wide availability of
technology
 like mobile phones could be
good
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a good
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 sign of
Information
technology
, one
have
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has
show examples
 to embrace its harmful consequences.
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Especially
Especailly
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Especially
 when our job requires working in front of the screen for
a long periods
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long periods
a long period
show examples
.
Apparently
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,Apparently
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 exposure to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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digital screen for a long time has
negative
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a negative
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effect
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effects
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in
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on
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 our health.
Degredation
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Degradation
 of
retina
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the retina
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 of
eye
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the eye
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, obesity, bone and muscular
dystrophies
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dystrophy
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 are the results of
this
 scenario.
Besides
of
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apply
show examples
that, social disconnection could be another issue with
information
technology
. While we are separated and communicate only through our phone
devices
, it brings about relationship deterioration. At the end of the day, we should not get obsessed with our
devices
 and take digital breaks from time to time. Nobody denies that IT has become
common
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a common
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 thing in the 21st century, it plays
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
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 role in our overall daily life and our current development depends on it.
Submitted by nadilnsz2002 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances communication
  • video conferencing
  • instant messaging
  • revolutionized
  • automating repetitive tasks
  • increased productivity
  • remote work opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • access to information
  • search engines
  • online databases
  • digital libraries
  • continuous learning
  • innovation
  • data breaches
  • privacy concerns
  • cybersecurity attacks
  • compromised
  • over-reliance
  • decreased physical activity
  • social interaction
  • digital devices
  • obesity
  • social isolation
  • digital records
  • telemedicine
  • diagnostic tools
  • patient outcomes
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