traffic and housing problems in major cities could be solved by moving large companies and factories and their employees to the countryside.to what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

There has been an unprecedented growth of concrete jungles, especially in urban areas.
While
some people argue that it has a lot of benefits, I believe that it is an issue. I will explain with reasons and examples why it is essential for cities to be building-free. Moving firms and factories to villages will permit more space in urban areas. If there is a larger amount of space, there will be more opportunities to build broader roads and
hence
traffic will be able to flow smoothly without any congestion. To illustrate, it was not until January 2021 that the Chinese government made it compulsory for firms to relocate to remote places. The size of the highways,
as a result
, increased significantly thereby reducing traffic. Ultimately, If it is inevitable to relocate, new buildings should not be built in cities. Housing problems, too, will certainly be tackled predominantly because industries,
as well as
, offices consume high volumes of resources
such
as electricity and water. Without resources, it will be impossible to fulfil daily activities washing, cooking, cleaning, et
Cetra
Correct your spelling
cetera
. If private and public sectors migrate to rural areas, there will be an abundant amount of energy.
Therefore
, there will be fewer house problems. Pollution will come to an end,
moreover
.
To sum up
, local authorities and corporate owners must make the correct decisions.
Subsequently
, they should strive to immigrate to spacious regions in anticipation of the traffic and housing problems since, in my opinion,
this
will give rise to a lot of miseries as mentioned above.
Submitted by dylan7rdgz on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your essay shows some organization and logic, but the main points are not well supported with evidence and examples. Add more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, with logical sequencing of ideas. However, the main points lack sufficient support and development. Make sure each point is supported with relevant examples and details.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: