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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many professional sports, there is an increase in the number of athletes using banned substances to improve their performance. What are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

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These days, it is undeniable that many professional sportsmen started using things like doping.
This
Linking Words
 substance
let
Wrong verb form
lets
show examples
 them increase their energy for better results in tournaments. I do consider
that is
Linking Words
 a relevant issue in many sports.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the reason for
this
Linking Words
 fact can be that many
athletes
Use synonyms
 want to win specific competitions.
For example
Linking Words
, in 2019 footballer from Kazakhstan Bauyrzhan Islamkhan
get
Verb problem
was
show examples
 banned from UEFA
to play
Change preposition
from playing
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 football in the competition for 2-3 years.
However
Linking Words
, he said that he did not take any of the
substances
Use synonyms
 that can impact his best performance. After that, people tested his blood.
As a result
Linking Words
, they found out that he
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 taken these pills. When people
ask
Wrong verb form
asked
show examples
 him why he did
this
Linking Words
, he
told
Verb problem
said
show examples
 that he wanted to win the competition.
In addition
Linking Words
, we need to avoid the situations like that. I reckon that we need to test the sportsmen's blood before the start of the tournament.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will not have time to take any pills.
However
Linking Words
, I suppose that, if somehow we find out that some of the
athletes
Use synonyms
 have taken any
substances
Use synonyms
, we need to ban or restrict them from taking participating in certain tournaments. I guess it is the best way to prevent situations with
substances
Use synonyms
 which increase the performance of
athletes
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I think we need to seek a place where
athletes
Use synonyms
 obtain these pills and close them forever or forbid the sale of
substances
Use synonyms
 to sportsmen. In conclusion,I think
this
Linking Words
 problem is
obtaining
Verb problem
gaining
show examples
 more and more popularity. That's why we should
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
any actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
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 to avoid
this
Linking Words
 context.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument. Use linking words to connect ideas and improve coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the essay prompt. Provide more relevant and specific examples to support the points made.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anti-doping regulations
  • Detection methods
  • Ban substances
  • Ethical issues
  • Health risks
  • Fair play
  • Sportsmanship
  • Stakes
  • Pressure to succeed
  • Enforcement
  • Awareness programs
  • Testing frequency
  • Entourage
  • Science advancement
  • Financial gains
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