Being a celebrity – such as a movie star or professional athlete – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or drawbacks?

#celebrity #movie #star #athlete

In the recent world, supported by mass communications and the internet,

focus

Correct article usage

the focus

show examples

on famous individuals has been increasing.

As a result

, the number of young people who want to be

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

actors or

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

players is growing.

However

, there are both advantages and disadvantages

being

Change preposition

to being

show examples

a celebrity. On

this

account, I believe there are more merits than demerits

becoming

Change preposition

to becoming

show examples

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

person.

Accordingly

, I would like to list some specific examples of both benefits and drawbacks and demonstrate that the former outweighs the latter. The most typical disadvantage of being famous is that the person

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to give up his or her privacy.

For example

, their private

Correct your spelling

whereabouts

show examples

whereabout

Correct your spelling

whereabouts

show examples

and relationships with someone are all

Correct your spelling

revealed

reavealed

Correct your spelling

revealed

by reporters and magazines. Their time schedules become inflexible, allowing them little or no free

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

. Their family members are

also

watched by fans and TV reporters. These conditions can be sometimes quite challenging and even dangerous both mentally and physically.

On the contrary

, being famous has many advantages as well.

The

Correct article usage

First

show examples

first

and foremost, they can be financially very rich.

Also

, they can have numerous

Correct your spelling

privileges

priviledges

Correct your spelling

privileges

such

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

access to networks only those celebrated people can participate

Change preposition

in or

show examples

a free pass to top restaurants and events which ordinary people cannot go

Change preposition

to.

show examples

On top of that, they can obtain profound

self satisfaction

Add a hyphen

self-satisfaction

show examples

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

in the recognition that they are important in the world and different from many other citizens. As

such

, they try to educate their children to become movie stars or sports players as they are so that their

off springs

Correct your spelling

offsprings

show examples

can

also

enjoy these benefits. In conclusion, I believe being famous has more advantages than disadvantages. They can enjoy huge monetary and mental satisfactions

although

they often have to sacrifice their privacy and freedom.

Submitted by michima2011 on Wed Nov 23 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

duality
acknowledged
accrue
endorsements
sponsorships
influential
recognition
admiration
privileged
exclusive
luxury
privacy invasion
paparazzi
scrutiny
pressure
exploitation
unscrupulous
mental health issues
public image
perks
impact

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Being a celebrity – such as a movie star or professional athlete – brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity has more benefits or drawbacks?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The importance of biodiversity is being recognized as in creasing number of species. Why is special loss occurring? What are the potential effects of this?

In some countries, the number of shooting massacres is on the rise because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

in some countries, the cost livig rapidly increasing. what do you think may be the reasons for this? what effects might this have on society?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent eleswhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?