Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many humans believe that advertising is excessively useful
at
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in
show examples
fallowing
Correct your spelling
allowing
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us to purchase things. But another consider advertising is so usual that we should not pay attention
about
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to
show examples
them. We will consider both
side
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sides
show examples
of the discussion in
this
essay, and give a concluding view. On the one hand, those who support advertising
is
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are
show examples
useful. Many
people
think that advertising is a key part of modern business. Because
,
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apply
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we can get familiar conveniently with
products
that we need.
For example
,
people
can aim
from
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for
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products
via national media.
Furthermore
, proponents of advertising are successful in the communities. Since
People
believe that companies need to tell customers about their
products
.
For instance
, if we want to buy a thing and not
knowing
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know
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about
product
Add an article
the product
a product
show examples
we cannot correctly
purchase
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purchase it
show examples
.
However
, opponents of advertising are harmful and advertiser manipulates
people
for buying
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to buy
show examples
products
. So, watching
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
is
waste
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a waste
show examples
of time and humans should not pay attention
them
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to them
show examples
, they beguile
people
.
In other words
,
advertiser
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advertisers
show examples
just display an image of
product
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the product
a product
show examples
and
not
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do not
show examples
knowledge
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know
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about it
thus
costumers
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customers
show examples
buy it and
then
they are unsatisfied
of
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with
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quality
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its quality
show examples
.
Moreover
, critics of
people
say that these causes children
easily
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to easily
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be influenced by advertisements. In short, children like buying some
products
that they do not be regulated and these may be
harm
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harmful
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for
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to
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their health.
To conclude
, it seems to me that, advertising should be regulated before playing. So,
government
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the government
show examples
have
duty
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a duty
show examples
against
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
, they should only censor false information or
products
that are harmful.
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task achievement
Your introduction outlines the main points to be discussed but includes some awkward phrasing and grammatical issues. Consider revising sentence structures for clarity, such as "advertising is excessively useful at fallowing" to "advertising is extremely successful at persuading." Additionally, ensure you clearly outline the plan for the essay without misunderstandings.
task achievement
While your essay does discuss both perspectives and provides a conclusion, the argumentation lacks depth. Try to use more specific examples and elaborate on each point to enrich your discussion. This will make your ideas more comprehensive and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some segment transitions are abrupt, and paragraphs could flow better. Use transition phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your essay smoothly. Phrases like "On the other hand," and "For instance," can help but should be placed more naturally within the context of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
You need to strengthen your main points with better-supported arguments. Instead of merely stating that advertising is useful because people can familiarize themselves with products, explain how this benefits both consumers and businesses. Similarly, explain why children are particularly susceptible to advertisements and provide concrete examples to illustrate your point.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of both sides of the argument around advertising, which forms a strong basis for balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that address the prompt.

Your opinion

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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