Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many humans believe that advertising is excessively useful
at
Change preposition
in
fallowing
us to purchase things. But another consider advertising is so usual that we should not pay attention Correct your spelling
allowing
about
them. We will consider both Change preposition
to
side
of the discussion in Change to a plural noun
sides
this
essay, and give a concluding view.
On the one hand, those who support advertising is
useful. Many Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
think that advertising is a key part of modern business. Because,
we can get familiar conveniently with Remove the comma
apply
products
that we need. For example
, people
can aim from
Change preposition
for
products
via national media. Furthermore
, proponents of advertising are successful in the communities. Since People
believe that companies need to tell customers about their products
. For instance
, if we want to buy a thing and not knowing
about Wrong verb form
know
product
we cannot correctly Add an article
the product
a product
purchase
.
Correct pronoun usage
purchase it
However
, opponents of advertising are harmful and advertiser manipulates people
for buying
Change preposition
to buy
products
. So, watching advertisement
is Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
waste
of time and humans should not pay attention Correct article usage
a waste
them
, they beguile Change preposition
to them
people
. In other words
, advertiser
just display an image of Fix the agreement mistake
advertisers
product
and Add an article
the product
a product
not
Add a missing verb
do not
knowledge
about it Replace the word
know
thus
costumers
buy it and Correct your spelling
customers
then
they are unsatisfied of
Change preposition
with
quality
. Correct pronoun usage
its quality
Moreover
, critics of people
say that these causes children easily
be influenced by advertisements. In short, children like buying some Fix the infinitive
to easily
products
that they do not be regulated and these may be harm
Replace the word
harmful
for
their health.
Change preposition
to
To conclude
, it seems to me that, advertising should be regulated before playing. So, government
have Add an article
the government
duty
against Correct article usage
a duty
advertisement
, they should only censor false information or Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
products
that are harmful.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Your introduction outlines the main points to be discussed but includes some awkward phrasing and grammatical issues. Consider revising sentence structures for clarity, such as "advertising is excessively useful at fallowing" to "advertising is extremely successful at persuading." Additionally, ensure you clearly outline the plan for the essay without misunderstandings.
task achievement
While your essay does discuss both perspectives and provides a conclusion, the argumentation lacks depth. Try to use more specific examples and elaborate on each point to enrich your discussion. This will make your ideas more comprehensive and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Some segment transitions are abrupt, and paragraphs could flow better. Use transition phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your essay smoothly. Phrases like "On the other hand," and "For instance," can help but should be placed more naturally within the context of each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
You need to strengthen your main points with better-supported arguments. Instead of merely stating that advertising is useful because people can familiarize themselves with products, explain how this benefits both consumers and businesses. Similarly, explain why children are particularly susceptible to advertisements and provide concrete examples to illustrate your point.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of both sides of the argument around advertising, which forms a strong basis for balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion that address the prompt.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?