You are part of a group of musicians who meet on Tuesday and Friday evenings to practice in the community hall. You have been told, however, that it is no longer possible for the group to use the hall. Write a letter to the manager. In the letter: • describe what the group does • explain why the group is good for the community • suggest alternative days and times for practice

Dear Mr John, My name is Peter. I am
Correct your spelling
member
Correct article usage
a memeber
show examples
memeber
Correct your spelling
member
of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
famous
musician
Replace the word
music
show examples
band
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
name
Wrong verb form
named
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
Rockstar Band. Hope you are doing well. I am writing
this
letter to get your attention towards
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
music for
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
the upcoming
show examples
event at
community
Add an article
the community
a community
show examples
hall.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
we want to
practice
Correct your spelling
practise
show examples
on
Correct your spelling
Tuesday
Tuseday
Correct your spelling
Tuesday
and Friday.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
we come to know it is not possible for practicing
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there.
In addition
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, I want to elaborate
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
our group. Our group doing
musical
Correct article usage
a musical
show examples
night
Correct your spelling
concert
consert
Correct your spelling
concert
in
Correct your spelling
different
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
cities.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
we are doing charity work which we will manage from our
earning
Correct your spelling
earnings
show examples
by every
consert
Correct your spelling
concert
. Not only that but,
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
our group
also
organize some
Correct your spelling
competition
compition
Correct your spelling
competitions
for small kids and
Correct your spelling
handicapped
handycapped
Correct your spelling
handicapped
people. As well we are
also
Correct your spelling
organize
organized
oraganize
Correct your spelling
organise
blood donation
camp
Fix the agreement mistake
camps
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
different
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
states and cities. Above mentioned all
activies
Correct your spelling
activities
would be conducted by money which
is earn
Change the verb form
is earned
show examples
by doing
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
type of event.
Finally
, I request you
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
kindly
give
Change the form of the verb
giving
show examples
permission to
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
practice for our event on
mentioned
Add an article
the mentioned
show examples
day or we can
also
do it on
other day
Change the wording
another day
other days
show examples
like Sunday and upcoming public holidays. I am waiting for your valuable
Correct your spelling
response
responce
Correct your spelling
response
toward
Change preposition
to
show examples
my point. Yours faithfully, Peter
Submitted by yashpatel9089 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • ensemble
  • rehearsal
  • community engagement
  • cultural enrichment
  • public performances
  • diversity
  • inclusivity
  • musical education
  • alternative arrangements
  • schedule compatibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: