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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
In today’s modern world each country may have a free
health
service
,
however
 latter medical medicine could not be accessible through the
service
 due to the fact that they are overpriced. I agree with
this
 statement to a maximum
extend
Replace the word
extent
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 and my essay will elaborate on
this
 in the following paragraphs. At present medical treatments are too expensive. In the
first
 place, if
in
Change preposition
apply
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every country will be a free
health
service
people
 will take care of themselves. At that
point
Add a comma
,point
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 humans will keep their money for
health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 for something else that they
also
 essential.
For example
, in every hospital will be free basic analysis for everyone and
also
free
Add an article
the free
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 treatment of cancer, because many
people
 died of that they cannot pay money for medicine. It has been shown that if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 will support medicine and most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 will
healthier
Add a missing verb
be healthier
show examples
 than now and it may be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right decision for humans. Another reason is that the latest medical treatments could not be attainable through the
service
 because they are too
overprized
Correct your spelling
overpriced
show examples
.
Therefore
 it is
play
Wrong verb form
played
show examples
 into the hands of the
government
. From my point of view for
government
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the government
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 doing medical
Correct your spelling
treatments
treatment
treatmeants
Correct your spelling
treatments
 for free
unprofitable
Add a missing verb
is unprofitable
show examples
. In conclusion,
health
 is
primary
Add an article
the primary
a primary
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 constituent of
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 lives.
Therefore
 it should be funded and supported by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to provide good
health
 services to their citizen.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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