IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
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In today’s modern world each country may have a free
health
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service
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,
however
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 latter medical medicine could not be accessible through the
service
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 due to the fact that they are overpriced. I agree with
this
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 statement to a maximum
extend
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extent
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 and my essay will elaborate on
this
Linking Words
 in the following paragraphs. At present medical treatments are too expensive. In the
first
Linking Words
 place, if
in
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apply
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every country will be a free
health
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service
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people
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 will take care of themselves. At that
point
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,point
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 humans will keep their money for
health
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Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 for something else that they
also
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 essential.
For example
Linking Words
, in every hospital will be free basic analysis for everyone and
also
Linking Words
free
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the free
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 treatment of cancer, because many
people
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 died of that they cannot pay money for medicine. It has been shown that if
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government
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the government
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 will support medicine and most
of
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
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 will
healthier
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be healthier
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 than now and it may be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 right decision for humans. Another reason is that the latest medical treatments could not be attainable through the
service
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 because they are too
overprized
Correct your spelling
overpriced
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it is
play
Wrong verb form
played
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 into the hands of the
government
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. From my point of view for
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government
Add an article
the government
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 doing medical
Correct your spelling
treatments
treatment
treatmeants
Correct your spelling
treatments
 for free
unprofitable
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is unprofitable
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. In conclusion,
health
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 is
primary
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the primary
a primary
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 constituent of
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people
Change noun form
people's
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 lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
 it should be funded and supported by
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government
Add an article
the government
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 to provide good
health
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 services to their citizen.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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