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Band 5

Some people Are reducing their walks however ,many health experts say that it is not good. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #health #experts
Undoubtedly, walking is more significant for a healthy life. Nowadays, many folks are avoiding
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jogging while, fitness specialists raise a concern that it is not a good idea.
This
 essay intends to shed light on the
reasons
 and the measure that can be implemented to mitigate
this
 menace.
To begin
 with, nowadays folks are
declining
Add the particle
todeclining
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 apply walking due to many multifarious
reasons
. The most prominent factor is altering lifestyle. To be more comprehended, due to their hectic work schedule, once they return from the office they feel less energy so they avoid walking even if they want to do it.
Moreover
,
people
 prefer to gym for jogging due to its high level of technology machines, where they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not only walk but
also
 can get an idea about how many calories they have burned.
For example
, the treadmill is less with modern technology where you can set walking speed with a timer. These kinds of facilities make
people
 more habituated to machines rather than walking the street. In fact, The top-notch Concrete reason is transport facility is available.
Hence
, due to
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
reasons
 public is neglecting outdoor walking.
On the other hand
, despite of above-mentioned
reasons
, there are numerous
of
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apply
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solutions that can be considered to alleviate
this
 issue.
Firstly
, with help of governments more parks must be stored in each city. Apart from that, the government must organize some
Add a hyphen
health-related
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 events in collaboration with famous athletes where he/she can emphasize the public for walking. To illustrate, local authorities can manage a marathon in their respective city
a
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competition with win prizes so that
people
 can be motivated. Many countries are making separate walking way for walkers to keep them motivated.
Therefore
, if government take some initiative and with help of celebrities is more possible that the public can be encouraged for walking. To recapitulate, I tend to iterate that
although
 there is
number
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a number
the number
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 of factors that prevent
people
 from walking,
yet
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I strongly assert that still there are many resolutions which can encourage
people
 to walk.
Submitted by misbahamzahir8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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