Some people are reducing their walks however; many health experts say that it is not good. Why do people walk less? What might encourage people to walk longer distances?

Undoubtedly, walking is more significant for a healthy life. Nowadays it is argued that
people
do not
declining
Change the verb form
decline
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their jogging activities whereas many health
physician
Change to a plural noun
physicians
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say that it is
serious
Correct article usage
a serious
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concern
This
essay intends to shed light on the
reasons
and the measure that can be implemented to mitigate
this
menace.
To begin
with, nowadays folks are declining to walk due to many multifarious
reasons
. The most prominent factor is altering lifestyle. To be more comprehended,
people
use to spend more time in
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
to earn extra money
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
they have busy life schedule.
Moreover
,
people
prefer to gym for jogging due to its high level of technology machines, where they
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not only walk but
also
can get an idea about how many calories they have burned.
For example
, the treadmill is less with modern technology where you can set walking speed with a timer. These kinds of facilities make
people
more habituated to machines rather than walking the street. In fact, the top-notch Concrete reason is
transformation
Add an article
the transformation
a transformation
show examples
of transport
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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.
Hence
, due to
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
reasons
public is neglecting outdoor walking.
On the other hand
, despite of above-mentioned
reasons
, there are numerous
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
solutions that can be considered to alleviate
this
issue.
Firstly
, with help of governments more parks must be stored in each city. Apart from that, the government must organize some health-related events in collaboration with famous athletes where he/she can emphasize the public for walking. To illustrate, local authorities can manage a marathon in their respective city
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
competition with win prizes so that
people
can be motivated. Many countries are making separate walking way for walkers to keep them motivated. To summarize, if government take some initiative and with help of celebrities is more possible that the public can be encouraged for walking. To conclude, I tend to iterate that
although
there is
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of factors that prevent
people
from walking,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
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I strongly assert that still there are many resolutions which can encourage
people
to walk.
Submitted by misbahamzahir8 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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