In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.
In some nations, young
people
are acceptable to become paid workers. Subsequently
, many people
and non-profit organizations consider this
trend as a wrong mechanism, while the
others think it is a normal thing that Correct article usage
apply
also
can produce a valuable effect such
as working experience. In my point of view
both arguments have their own consideration, and it depends on the perspective that we use in seeing the problem, Add a comma
,view
although
I personally prefer the children to focus on education rather than find working
experience.
Replace the word
work
To begin
, people
who criticize this
labour mechanism are supported by evidence from several research. The studies indicated that young people
working hours could decrease their allocated time to study and playing
, which are necessary for children’s Change the form of the verb
play
intelligent
and mental development. In some cases, it is usually their parents who encourage the child to work because of the Replace the word
intelligence
economy
problem. Replace the word
economic
Furthermore
, most of the cases are
involve Unnecessary verb
apply
the
middle schoolers, who could work in their teenage years already.
Correct article usage
apply
However
, this
issue is not as simple as it seems since the government should see it in
a helicopter view. The bigger picture is about the economy, which has Change preposition
from
became
a complex problem Change the verb form
become
especially
in developing countries. Despite having its negative side, Add the comma(s)
,especially
the
young individuals tend to be more productive than the older generation. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, their contribution in
Change preposition
to
industry
could increase Add an article
the industry
the
labour productivity itself.
To sum up, Correct article usage
apply
underaged
labour mechanism should be minimized as low as possible in every country, because it could decrease the percentage of educated young Correct article usage
the underaged
people
, according to the research. However
, if a country needs its young generation to work to affect their economy, children should be allowed only in Add a hyphen
part-time
part time
job Add a hyphen
part-time
role
, so it will not bother their time to study in school.Fix the agreement mistake
roles
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