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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As global trade increases, many goods, including those we use on a daily basis, are produced in other countries and have to be transported long distances. Do the benefits of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

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Nowadays, many goods, including
the
Correct article usage
apply
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basic daily needs, are distributed from around the world because of the global trading system. These export & import mechanisms have their positive and negative impact.
However
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 the global
market
Use synonyms
 system has more benefits than its drawbacks,
although
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 each
country
Use synonyms
 needs to calculate the risk to minimize the potential negative impact.
First
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, the most significant positive impact of
international
Correct article usage
the international
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market
Use synonyms
 mechanism is its potential to elevate the national economy in every
country
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.
In
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From
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macroeconomic
Correct article usage
a macroeconomic
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 perspective, if a state can sell more products, especially
the
Correct article usage
apply
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local commodities and high-valued manufacturing products,
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 GDP (Gross
Domestical
Correct your spelling
Domestic
 Product) will increase
subsequently
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.
Furthermore
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, it will affect
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 social-economy
parameter
Fix the agreement mistake
parameters
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such
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 as reducing
the
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apply
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unemployment and strengthening the state currency.
However
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, it
also
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 has several drawbacks, which must be considered by the authorities, especially when the government produce
the
Correct article usage
a
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 policy about import. Since the rule about how people could buy a thing from other countries can influence the price of local commodities. Indonesia, a southeast Asian
country
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 near
pacific
Correct article usage
the pacific
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 region, has
various
Add a missing verb
had various
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 experiences
about
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with
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 import policies that failed in the practical.
For instance
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, its decision to deliver non-local chillies during the peak
of
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apply
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demand time, made most
of
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apply
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local
Add an article
the local
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farmer
Fix the agreement mistake
farmers
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failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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 to sell their chillies to the
market
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 because the price was
to
Correct your spelling
too
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 low. In conclusion,
global
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the global
show examples
market
Use synonyms
 system can be a potential opportunity
to
Change preposition
for
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 every
country
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 to fulfil their necessity, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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also
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 can be a chance to advertise and sell any nation’s local commodity to bigger markets.
However
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, there are several risks that must be calculated in order to keep the local economy remains stable. The
country
Use synonyms
 governments have to be wise in producing their economic policies

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Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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