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Band 5.5

With the development of online communication, people will never be alone and will always be able to make new friends. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #communication #people #friends
Nowadays, online
communication
 is becoming
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
 alternative to
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
 with others universally.
People
 can easily find each other
than
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they are alone and
this
 is their
opportunities
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
show examples
 to make friends. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sides. On the one hand, online
communication
 is one of the most training technology in the world day by day.
Moreover
, it gives
people
 different opportunities
such
 as, it helps to individuals in long-distance.
For example
,
this
 makes
people
 can easily communicate with other
people
 in long-distance whatever how far
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 each other like different continents.
In addition
, online conversation makes a long way closer.
Therefore
, online contacts
allows
Change the verb form
allow
show examples
people
 to make new friends
a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
foreign country and be able to connect with them easily
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
anywhere and anytime
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
, humans have a chance to improve their skills.
On the other hand
,
although
,
online
Add an article
the online
an online
show examples
 connection has relieved us from communicating with each other online and
also
,
this
 takes a lot of time and can result in damage to
people
's health.
For instance
, a person may have problems with his health
as a result
 of excessive online
communication
 and
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of the phone. They may have
Add an article
a disease
show examples
disease
Change the noun form
diseases
show examples
such
 as reduced vision and brain fatigue.
In addition
, online contact reduces face-to-face meetings. In conclusion, irrespective of the foibles,
this
 enhancement allows
people
 to communicate accessibly.
Moreover
, it helps
people
 to make
friendly
Replace the word
friends
show examples
 and communicate with
people
 from other countries and gain
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
knowledge. Online
communication
 is playing a considerable role in
people
's life.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • geographical gaps
  • interact
  • social media platforms
  • messaging apps
  • revolutionized
  • physical distance
  • online communities
  • camaraderie
  • immediate surroundings
  • unparalleled opportunities
  • superficial relationships
  • excessive reliance
  • emotional warmth
  • tactile comfort
  • digital communication
  • digital divide
  • internet censorship
  • global connectivity
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