Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in.To what extend do you agree?

#people #teenagers #subjects #school #focus

It is thought that adolescents ought to focus on a number of curriculums at school. Whereas,

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

think that

concentration

Replace the word

concentrating

show examples

on an interesting

subject

would be better for them. In my opinion, I believe that teens must focus on all

subjects

rather than the ones

Change preposition

in which

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

are interested

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Firstly

, one of

significant

Add an article

the significant

show examples

reasons for studying all

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

is that teenagers are not

sufficient

Change the adjective

sufficiently

show examples

mature to make serious decisions for their future.in

other word

Change the wording

another word

other words

show examples

, their mental and physical development has

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not fully flourished

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the same as adults.

Therefore

, they are not able to accept the consequence of their choice.

Secondly

, learning a broad range of

subjects

is necessary for teens.

Due to gaining

Change preposition

Gaining

show examples

a great deal of knowledge regarding mathematics, foreign languages, biology and etc. can help them to perform their daily routine.to illustrate, simple math calculations are required when purchasing a pen or notebook in

stationery

Correct article usage

a stationery

show examples

store to check the amount of money

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be spent.

However

, some people believe that teens should draw their attention

Change preposition

show examples

a specific

subject

, which

are

Change the verb form

show examples

eager to learn. Owing to studying an interesting

subject

can increase their motivation to acquire more information about it.

in contrast

, many interests will be changed or lost after a while.

consequently

, it can discourage younger age from following studios. In conclusion, I think that youths should pay more attention

Change preposition

show examples

all

subjects

because they are not ready to identify correction resolution .

in addition

, various

subjects

are essential in their everyday activities.

Submitted by khndni on Thu Nov 24 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

246 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

well-rounded education
versatile skill set
personal development
future career opportunities
identify strengths
satisfying career
successful career
critical thinking
problem-solving skills
academic burnout
diverse curriculum
learning experience
engaging and stimulating
solid grounding
well-rounded individuals
diverse conversations
different perspectives

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Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in.To what extend do you agree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

There is an increase in the number of parents choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers are being used more and more in education. Some people say this is a positive trend, while others argue that it leads to negative consequences. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Successful companies use advertising to make more sales. What can make an advertisement very effective? Do you think this is a bad or a good thing for the society?

man and women studied part time and full time in britain in years 1970 to 1991

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities.Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.