IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money.Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money
It is
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
 thought that it is good to receive
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
situation
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
 unsuitable
job
 or shortage of money and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 feel that it is better to change
this
situation
.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I agree that individuals should try to improve their condition. Nowadays
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
personal
life
 and
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not good enough for individuals for
this
 many
people
 suffer more.It is crucial for
people
 to satisfy their
job
 because if they are unwilling to do
work
 they lose their
work
.It is not possible to make sure for everyone to find
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
show examples
job
 and enough money.If they do not
work
 they might be
Add an article
a drop
show examples
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
 from
work
 and
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 their
job
 so it is better to continue the
job
.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
 they might not lose
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
interest
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 earning money, and it
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 them to avoid different types of criminal activities.
For instance
, a survey
shown
Change the form of the verb
showed
show examples
 that those
people
 who carry their
work
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lead a healthy
life
 and they
are not worry
Change the verb form
are not worried
show examples
 about their
life
.So it is important to continue the
work
 and
Correct your spelling
should
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 satisfy their own condition.
On the other hand
,
people
 should try to change their condition.There have so many works and
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
,
people
Correct word choice
and people
show examples
 should take
these opportunity
Change the determiner
this opportunity
these opportunities
show examples
 to improve their
situation
. Naturally, hard
work
 can create
such
 facilities of
life
 standard, which is not able to find
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other sources.It can be significant for a nation as well.It is known to all that living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a standard
life
 is a precious
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
 that
on
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 one wants to make it worst.According to
survey
Add an article
the survey
a survey
show examples
, it has been shown that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a lot of
people
 around the world live a balanced
life
as a result
 of hard
work
, which eventually makes them happier and
satisfied
Correct quantifier usage
more satisfied
show examples
 in their
life
 in the long run. It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
 idea for
people
 to improve their
situation
.
As a result
 of
this
 individuals feel better, as well as their country's development will be ensured.
Submitted by samsulislam43.si on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
What to do next:
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