Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? When people people succeed, it is entirely because of hard work, luck has nothing to do with their success.

It is clear that
when people have
success
in their lives is because hard work and
luck
are working together. Personally , I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
luck
is to impulse for actions and self-development of the person. I feel
this
way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.
Firstly
,
A
Correct article usage
An
show examples
individual who works hard is focusing on his abilities with practice, dedication and learning about it. A person can prepare to reach any opportunity, in fact, humans with
success
, usually are in their self-development.
Moreover
, they can
the
Add a missing verb
have the
show examples
capacity to fill the energy with failure and stand up to open for other change. My own experience is a compelling example of
this
. My husband and I
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
had two restaurants one of them close, but we never
give
Wrong verb form
gave
show examples
up. We follow working with discipline and perseverance with a positive mind and now we have a small hotel with workers .
Secondly
, It is important to say that
luck
and hard work are a balance of
success
.
Furthermore
, would be good that humans were surrounded by the right people and mentors, from which they can learn about their personality development. It is true that
success
also
depends on where they are born,
in other words
, if they are born into a wealthy family, all of them will have more facilities to develop their
success
because they will have access to better schools, but sometimes for some people , the
success
could be a little complicated for them because they born in a poor country.
For instance
, My father-in-law was successful in his company. He can be surrounded by
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
who could help him to develop his knowledge. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
success
is a combination of
luck
and hard work and
also
that humans should have passion, integrity, optimism, connection, communication and
above all
,
self-sufficient
Replace the word
self-sufficiency
show examples
.
Submitted by rulalolo37 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Provide a clearer position on the topic and ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that ideas are logically organized with clear transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • succeed
  • hard work
  • luck
  • success
  • view
  • opinion
  • essential
  • factor
  • chances
  • temporary
  • advantage
  • sustained
  • combination
  • develop
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • crucial
  • opportunities
  • individuals
  • make the most of
What to do next:
Look at other essays: