IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Government needs to spend money to encourage the development of sport and art for school students, rather than to support professional sports and art evrnts. Do you agree or disagree ?

#government #money #development #sport #art #school #students #support #sports #evrnts
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, campaigns related to
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and creative activities
are became
Change the verb form
become
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 significantly important to every
national
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nation
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. While partial people
argues
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argue
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 that the country should just focus on the educational community. Personally, I disagreed
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a large extent and I will explain my thoughts in the paragraphs below. Understandably, there is an ascending trend of developing versatile pupils during their educational stage. To illustrate, nurturing new talents
are
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is
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 always a fundamental step towards specialists since it might
helps
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help
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 to build up
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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strong basic skills and
the
Correct article usage
an
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 understanding of their future.
Another reasons
Replace the adjective
Another reason
Other reasons
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 for that could be help to maximise adolescents in multiple skills before they
entry
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enter
show examples
 the specific course in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tertiary-level education. Undoubtedly, artists and
sportsman
Fix the agreement mistake
sportsmen
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 are significantly emphasised in current society.
However
Linking Words
, if the government only pay
all the
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
attention
on
Change preposition
to
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 the people in educational institutions in order to receive
short term
Add a hyphen
short-term
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 benefits
of
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from
show examples
 the national games
then
Linking Words
 it might weaken the experienced level of applicants and discontinue their confidence
of
Change preposition
in
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 performances.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it could possibly influence the motivation of learning for
Add an article
the generalist
a generalist
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generalist
Fix the agreement mistake
generalists
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,
thus
Linking Words
 it would reduce the sense of fulfilment for
the games player and designers
Change to a genitive case
the player and designers of the game
the game's player and designers
show examples
, as well as lower the performance of international competitions and programs. In conclusion, schooling is taken a large pile of
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
a proportion
show examples
 of every professional
sectors
Change to a singular noun
sector
show examples
initially
Linking Words
,
therefore
Linking Words
expertises
Correct your spelling
expertise
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 in physical activities and aesthetic objects are the main
door
Change the noun form
doors
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 cross-cultural communication. In my opinion, the government should seek
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 balance between the two communities for a brighter future.
Submitted by miumiu3.4 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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