IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time and have health problems as a result. Why do so many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health
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The majority of individuals who are working full-time are not able to follow a fitness
regimes
Correct the article-noun agreement
regime
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.
Hence
Linking Words
they're
Replace the word
their
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 viability for
Add a hyphen
health-related
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health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
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 problems in
in
Remove the redundancy
apply
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Add a hyphen
work-related
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work related
Add a hyphen
work-related
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stress
Fix the infinitive
to stress
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 and laziness are the main reasons which can attribute to
this
Linking Words
 problem. Meditation and an active lifestyle can be the best solution to
this
Linking Words
 issue. In
this
Linking Words
 modern world most
of
Change preposition
apply
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Add an article
the
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people who are having corporate jobs, have
a huge amounts
Correct the article-noun agreement
a huge amount
huge amounts
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 of responsibilities to be met in their day-to-day work
Correct your spelling
in order
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inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
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 to meet these deadlines and answer to the clients exerts a lot of mental burden on the employee. With these kinds of days after reaching their houses, they feel exhausted, and some people will take a rest while others population watch TV in order to get rid of strain. Meditation can be a useful tool in how to deal with any kind of stress, anxiety and fear. By practising
the
Correct article usage
apply
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meditation for a longer period. It can have a huge number of benefits in your daily life and it will help to keep your focus on particular tasks. Laziness can
also
Linking Words
 be related to tension at the office because
of
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on
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 a hectic day you feel mentally drained, and try to find a time when you don't want to involve yourself in any kind of activity just sitting like a couch potato
in
Change preposition
on
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 the sofa.an active lifestyle can keep you active in all kinds of activities and scientifically proven that
this
Linking Words
 way of living life can have good benefits on your health, especially while you're in old age. In conclusion, inactive lifestyle and job squeeze are the two causes of
public
Correct article usage
the public
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 not performing their exercises and to tackle
this
Linking Words
 problem, Yoga and small changes in your routine can go a long way.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Time constraints
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Passive leisure activities
  • Workplace wellness programs
  • Active commuting
  • Subsidized
  • Public awareness
  • Health benefits
  • Incentivizing
  • Accessible public spaces
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