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Band 4

Some people consider price as most impertant things to think about when buying products ( such as cell phone) or service (e.g.medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree.

#people #price #impertant #products #cell #phone #service #e #g #treatment
It is believed
by
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apply
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some
people
 that before deciding to purchase
products
 or services, they should consider carefully whether it is worth it or not. I strongly agree with
this
 statement. I will discuss why
people
 need to consider before buying. Some
people
 buy goods and services without considering
Correct word choice
whether that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 would
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 essential
products
 or not. It is important to reflect on how much
money
 they should spend on
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
items or services and
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 does not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
on
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apply
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active income. If they spend
money
 on these
products
with
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apply
show examples
exceeding their income, it will cause
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unwilling debt which lead to financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 in the future.
Therefore
, it is necessary to review
the
Change the word
your
show examples
 thought before deciding
purchase
Fix the infinitive
to purchase
show examples
 any
products
 and treatments.
On the other hand
, there are many
people
 who spend
money
like
Change preposition
on
show examples
 water. It is because of the capital life
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 their family have
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
 or asset owner.
However
, these
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 accounted for around 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the whole world. The problem is the vast majority of
Correct your spelling
teenagers
teenegers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 try to be them without caring
parent’s
Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
show examples
 budgets because they want to be accepted by
people
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, if they want to be popular or accepted,
money
 is an answer. They might use
Correct pronoun usage
their parent’s
show examples
parent’s
Fix the agreement mistake
parents’
show examples
money
 to buy
an expensive items
Correct the article-noun agreement
expensive items
an expensive item
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
decorate
Change the verb form
decorating
show examples
 themselves for creating a reliable image and their parent will have a
Correct your spelling
debt
dabt
Correct your spelling
debt
 in the end. In conclusion, everyone should consider deciding to purchase any
products
 without affecting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the limited
money
.
Submitted by mukda.hutsun on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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