Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today, it is unacceptable that
people
have less
time
spending
Replace the word
spent
show examples
towards
Correct your spelling
leisure
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
activities
. Not spending
sufficient
Add an article
a sufficient
show examples
amount of
time
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
different reasons and causes for
people
and society. The following essay will elaborate
regarding
Change preposition
on
show examples
the aforementioned points with examples.
Firstly
,
people
are busy with their daily schedules. As the world is developing
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
a rapid pace the job market and business grow gradually
as a result
people
do not have
time
for other
activities
.
Thus
, in the past
people
used to work during the
day
under the given 7.5 hour period but nowadays they spend
whole
Add an article
the whole
a whole
show examples
day
working towards goals.
Secondly
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technological
advancements
Add a comma
,advancements
show examples
individuals focus more on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
and social media,
hence
the number of
people
liking
towards
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
leisure
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
activities
has reduced. Especially, young children, once they come home straight away they scroll down the web or search
Change preposition
for gossips
show examples
gossips
Fix the agreement mistake
gossip
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
despite
this
was not the normal procedure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children but with the advent of
technology
Add a comma
,technology
show examples
Correct your spelling
leisure
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
activities
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
put apart from their lives. As an example, according to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
Add a comma
,research
show examples
95% of
people
are not having
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Correct your spelling
leisure
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
,
where
Correct word choice
while
show examples
the other 5% of
people
are
older
Add an article
an older
the older
show examples
generation where they still continue their
activities
from the past. So, the interest humans have one
hobbies
Change to a singular noun
hobby
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
reducing drastically
day
by
day
when the younger generation
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
adapted to the new routines in the world.
In contrast
, there are many effects of the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
cause. Starting with, one of the main
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
of not having a
Correct your spelling
hobby
hobbie
Correct your spelling
hobby
is individuals will become more stressed. Hobbies are important for
ones
Change to a genitive case
one's
show examples
life because they help to alleviate stress as they supply a feeling of both fulfilment and escapism.
Therefore
,
people
who are
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
due to
huge
Change the article
a huge
show examples
load of work capacity daily will eventually fall down sick and most probably
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
tend to get anxiety or depression.
Moreover
, another reason that today most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
in society face is obesity.
This
has become a
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
world wide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
show examples
issue since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
are not devoted to
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
a
Correct your spelling
hobby
hobbies
hobbie
Correct your spelling
hobby
in their life. To exemplify, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
sit down the whole
day
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
while they are working or using social media
Add the comma(s)
, as a result,
show examples
as a result
the
time
they have to do an activity is less, so
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
people
face high obesity. To conclude, it is up to individuals to choose a
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
balance and move away from technology and devote their
time
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
Correct your spelling
leisure
lesuire
Correct your spelling
leisure
activities
if not more
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more
people
will get
stress
Wrong verb form
stressed
show examples
and
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
in future.
Submitted by wathsala.lekamge1997 on

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  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
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