Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

It is believed that some workers should leave a pension earlier than other people due to their job. I completely agree with
this
statement. From my viewpoint, every person spends different resources
such
as time and effort they put into effort and working for a long date will hurt not only your strength and your psychological state. On the one hand, some kind of professions like analysis requires a lot of time and hardworking. They are addicted to spending their irretrievable resources more than others,
although
they receive a pension with other workers on the same date. That affects sceptically by demotivating them to struggle .
That is
why the quality of jobs will decrease. Research, that was carried out by Microsoft, has shown that about 84% of analysts were demotivated after 5 years of hardworking. Lack of motivation decreases the performance of people by 46% which negatively affected the whole company. To summarize, working harder will lead to demotivating that will decrease the quality of effort of the whole company.
On the other hand
, some professionals
such
as those related to analysis and endeavour on data performance too much which negatively influences their well-being and mental state. Continuously labour gathers stress, which will lead to a nervous breakdown. Burnout causes a lack of desire to operate, and in the worst case leads to depression. Unfortunately, exhaustion influences not only mental well-being but
also
physical condition. According to World Medical Corp doctors, nervous breakdown impairs the functioning of the liver and kidneys and
also
increases the level of haemoglobin in the blood by 20%. To sum up, specialists that endeavour with a massive amount of data should receive a pension at an earlier age.
For instance
, certain workers that work with a large amount of information should receive welfare at an earlier age.
This
type of profession requires a lot of irretrievable resources and hurts not only mental well-being but
also
physical stage.
Submitted by bekeyeva_a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: