IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many manufactured food and drink product contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problem. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree ?

#food #drink #product #level #sugar #health #products #people
Today, many health issues have been caused due to the consumption of high levels of sugary food and drink
products
 so to overcome
this
 problem, making the
prices
 high would make
people
 consume less. I would certainly disagree with the statement. Making the
prices
 high is really a good idea but there are other sets of
people
 who are below the poverty line and that
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
people
 cannot afford these foods.
Moreover
, sugary
products
 are the major reason but it is not the only reason, because today more
people
 do not have time to do physical workouts.
For instance
,
people
 who work in the IT sector, have to spend a vast sum of time sitting in front of computers.
However
, if we make the
prices
 for sugary
products
 high,
people
 will move on
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
fast foods and it is more harmful to health. To overcome
this
 issue, the government should make
people
 more aware of the overconsumptionconsumption of sugary
products
.
On the other hand
, building more gyms and making them free of cost would encourage
people
 to do physical exercise and help their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 to keep fit.
Additionally
, making
people
 aware of a balanced diet and how to follow them will help them to keep themselves away from overconsumptionconsumption of high-fat
products
.
As a result
, it will effectively decrease health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 like obesity, diabetes, etc among
people
. In conclusion, making the
prices
 high for sugary
products
 is not a good idea and will not work as expected. Even though the
prices
 are high, still tempt
people
 to buy, so making
people
 aware of the disadvantages of overconsumptionconsumption would be highly helpful.
Submitted by usprem02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: