IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believe that teenagers experiences most happiness moments in their life while others believe that adults experience more happiness, inspite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #teenagers #experiences #happiness #moments #life #adults #inspite #responsibilities
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It is debatable on the time when people are the
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happiest
happeist
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happiest
 in their lives. Some are of the opinion that someone feels
the
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apply
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happier in
teenage
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their teenage
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 while others, including me, believe that despite being responsible for more issues in adulthood,
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people
peole
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people
 are
more happy
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happier
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.
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On
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One
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On
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 the
one
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 hand,
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being
beeing
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being
 a
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teenager
teeneger
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teenager
 may feel like a free time in
life
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 when
one
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 explores , discovers and
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experiences
experience
experinces
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experiences
life
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 in a carefree mode. Contrary to these
believes
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beliefs
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, most young
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people
peole
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people
 in their teens lack the maturity to fully understand the
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consequences
consequnces
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consequences
 of their actions which may lead to a
life
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 of regrets.
For example
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, most mums who got pregnant below 19 years of age, confess
of
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apply
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the vulnerability they had when they indulged in unprotected sex that resulted
into
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in
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 unwanted
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pregnancy
pregnacy
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pregnancy
 and altered their lives permanently.
In addition
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, 13-
19 year olds
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19-year-olds
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are vulnerable to peer
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pressure
presure
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pressure
 and
seldomly
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seldom
 make independent
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decisions
decions
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decisions
. They tend to choose based on their peers and social circles and
this
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 can limit how much joy
one
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 gets from what they have
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chosen
choosen
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chosen
.
On the other hand
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, adults make choices mostly based on their individual circumstances. In the event that
one
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 may be influenced by
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the
their
ther
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their
 agemates to do something they regret doing, due to
clear
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a clear
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understanding
undrestanding
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understanding
 of the cost
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on
oth
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of
 their action,
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grown-ups
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grown ups
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grown-ups
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 are resilient and can easily bounce back and still
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experience
experince
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experience
 happiness. A recent study
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found
founf
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found
 that most divorcees
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find
fing
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find
 true happiness when they choose to leave a marriage they are unhappy with and
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eventually
eventualy
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eventually
 choose new partners in
life
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. To conclude,
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people
peole
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people
 are happier when older than in their
teen age
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teenage
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despite
desite
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despite
 the duties we have in adulthood.
Submitted by shikariukis on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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