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Band 7.5

Academic Task 2 As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. What are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? What are some problems that may result from this situation?

#world #computers #people #jobs #job #positions #situation
Nowadays, technology had developed to an advanced stage where some
job
 positions can be exchanged with humans for computers.
This
 matter may cause
job
 loss for some communities,
also
 problems
as a result
 that
come
Change the verb form
comes
show examples
 within.
Further
 explanation will be examined in the essay. The phenomenon related to computers replacing, there are some unsecured career positions which cause
people
 to lose their
job
. One of them is
people
 who work as cashiers. As the majority of society knows, some department stores that have advanced technology apply self-service to the customers. To illustrate, the Decathlon sports department store lets their customers pay for all the stuff alone at the cashier stop, which has machines that can automatically sum up the total of the payment. Another position loss can occur to
people
 who are responsible for accepting and returning tolls ticket to the drivers.
This
 may become the highest number of
job
 losses in Indonesia because all the highway ticket stops had been replaced by toll ticket machines. To more a clear explanation, only
people
 who have e-toll cards that can travel by highway. While advanced in automation still arise, the negative effects
also
 cannot be overlooked.
Firstly
,
people
 exchange computers which results in
job
 loss.
Therefore
, the unemployed population will increase more and more.
Secondly
,
people
 who at their elderly age may not feel comfortable keeping up with technology.
This
 is because they tend to live with other
people
's help, not from any gadget they do not have.
For example
, the elderly may not know how to shop alone at a self-service department store because they are more convenient to interact and ask any question related to the shopping experience to the shop assistant rather than talking with a machine. To conclude, advanced machinery is one development that will always happen worldwide, but the public
also
 cannot be overlooked the negative side that may occur.
Submitted by aulia.putri2298 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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