IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional food and traditional ways of food preparation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#convenience #foods #food #preparation
It is often argued that
convenience
foods
 are replacing traditional food as well as
preparation
. Some people believe that
convenience
foods
 are used
shorten
Fix the infinitive
to shorten
show examples
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 of
preparation
 at home.
On the other hand
, many people believe that traditional food is good for
health
. I completely agree with
this
 statement because peoples want to save their
time
 and utilize
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 new things.
To begin
 with, convenient
foods
 have become widely popular especially
working-class
Change preposition
among working-class
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
, teenage children and people
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in hostels. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
convenience
foods
 are not taking more
time
 to prepare because it is readily available, or
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
preparation
 is too much easy.
For instance
, Masala oats and instant noodles are prepared in just 5 minutes.
Also
, there is no requirement for any special recipe, just add water and mixture. As result, fast
foods
 can save us
time
 but same
time
 it impacts our
health
. On the other side, there are some communities which believe in traditional
foods
 because they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
always take care of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
health
.
Although
, traditional
foods
 are given the important minerals which help to improve the immune system.
For example
, while
preparation
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local
foods
 we understand the use of oil, spices and ingredients. As result, traditional
foods
 are improving our
health
. To conclude the discussion, it can be said that despite the fact of
convenience
foods
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
save
time
 but same way it will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health
, my reasons that traditional
foods
 and
convenience
foods
 are logically acceptable.
Submitted by jaymin.gajjar.86 on

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