Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

A number of
people
advocate that
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
in
education
is increasing and it’s
affirmative
Correct article usage
an affirmative
show examples
phenom
although
some
people
don’t agree with that. Some
people
suppose that rise of applying technologies in
education
would provide
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bad consequences. I disagree with
this
statement and I believe that
computers
are crucial in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
education
. In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
I would elaborate on
this
view.
First
of
all
Add a comma
,all
show examples
computers
are significant for
education
since it connects with technology development. 30 or 40 years ago
people
didn’t expect that in the future they will have opportunities to use
computers
,
gadgets
Correct word choice
and gadgets
show examples
widely and frequently .
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
they didn’t even suppose that
people
would work and study online. Nowadays it’s
typical
Add an article
a typical
the typical
show examples
occasion and it makes our lives more comfortable.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
pupils can carry only laptops with them to school
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
also
is convenient and sometimes it helps to avoid back diseases.
Statistically
Add a comma
,Statistically
show examples
teenagers who study in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classes with
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
system of
education
suffer less
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spin aches than others. Another reason why using
computers
in
education
has more advantages is technological progress which achieves by
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
particularly. In
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
for
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
10
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
the frequency of scientific discoveries which were made by students or pupils are very high.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
pupil from Australia created
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
robot which cleans oceans
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
plastic and pollution
also
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
powered by solar panels. The young creator had worked
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
this
project for 5 years despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
his age
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
15.
Obviously
Add a comma
,Obviously
show examples
without computer
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
knowledges
Add a comma
,knowledges
show examples
it wouldn’t be possible. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
I think that using more
computers
in studies has more advantages than drawbacks.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • addiction
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • obesity
  • eye strain
  • inappropriate content
  • social skills
  • isolation
  • academic performance
  • time limits
  • parental supervision
  • age-appropriate
  • physical activities
  • digital literacy
  • balanced computer usage
  • excessive gaming
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