Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

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In recent years, some

people

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argue that the increasing prevalence of violent

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contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

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and computer

games

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has a devastating impact on

society

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while others contend that those affect the way

people

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think and behave. In my perspective,

this

Linking Words

tendency both

adversely

Change the adverb

adverse

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damages and influences individuals and

whole

Add an article

the whole

show examples

society

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. There are multiple ways in which the popularity of violence nowadays há an adverse effect on

society

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First

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and foremost,

this

Linking Words

trend results in higher levels of

crime

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criminal

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cases which pose a dire threat to all the residents.

This

Linking Words

is because

people

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are exposed to aggressive

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contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

that often have a big impression on them and lead to their imitation which is a challenge for officers to deal with their actions. Another significant drawback is that the prevalence of violence is equivalent to less compassion, love and caring. Since

people

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are usually obsessed and appealed by those

contents

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, they tend to become less interested and care about normal things happening around the community and ignore the miserable situations of others.

For example

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, when they are walking and watching action movies, they hardly can put down their phone to help someone who has just had an accident on the

roads

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road

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. The increasing trend of aggressive

behaviors

Change the spelling

behaviours

show examples

Use synonyms

games

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bring

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brings

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many negative impacts on each citizen as well.

Firstly

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, the increasing time spent

Change preposition

apply

show examples

watching

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programs or playing

games

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can lead to multiple mental and physical health problems.

This

Linking Words

could be explained by the fact that those programs are designed and produced with a high level of addiction to satisfy the viewers'

needs

Fix the agreement mistake

need

show examples

Change preposition

for

show examples

violence.

For instance

Linking Words

, when

people

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are getting addicted to action movies, it would be extremely challenging for them to get rid of

this

Linking Words

tendency which can have an adverse effect on their eyes and minds.

Moreover

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this

Linking Words

trend could weaken the relationships between

people

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since they often allocate a larger amount of time to immerse themselves in

those stuff

Change the determiner

that stuff

show examples

rather than interacting with others. In conclusion, in my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

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there are numerous adverse impacts that the increasing tendency of high levels of violent

Use synonyms

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

Use synonyms

programs and computer

games

Use synonyms

could have on both individuals and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

Use synonyms

thaianntMon Nov 28 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

363 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pivotal
desensitize
catalyst
predisposed
harmless outlet
distinguish
controlled environments
empirical research
minimal or no direct correlation
socio-economic status
predisposition

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Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In many countries, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging the environment. What can the governments do to address these problems? What can individual people do?

In some countries ,there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?