Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
People
have different Use synonyms
view
about the effect of Fix the agreement mistake
views
violence
. while a school of thought hold that Use synonyms
violence
on televisions or in computer games has no impact on Use synonyms
On
the one hand, I would cast no doubt Add the comma(s)
,On
on
that Change preposition
apply
violence
sways seriously on individuals for a combination of reasons. Use synonyms
First
and foremost, Linking Words
violence
affects teenagers' cognitive development, which plays a crucial role in their spiritual life. Under Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
certain
cerntain
assumptions, Correct your spelling
certain
this
can be construed as the fact that a handful of children do not have the ability to distinguish Linking Words
the
reality and Correct article usage
apply
the
fiction, so they have Correct article usage
apply
tendency
to imitate terrible Add an article
a tendency
the tendency
Correct your spelling
behaviour
behaviours
behavious
. Correct your spelling
behaviour
Accordingly
, it easily leads to the exacerbation of morale and the Linking Words
unprecendated
percentage of criminals and victims. One example Correct your spelling
unprecedented
people
often reference is that according to Use synonyms
Add an article
a survey
the survey
survey
about medical documents, there is an increasing number of victims relating to domestic Fix the agreement mistake
surveys
violence
, which Use synonyms
is need
controlling. Change the verb form
needs
On the other hand
, Linking Words
i
believe that when having prolonged exposure to Change the capitalization
I
violence
, Use synonyms
people
are likely to be vulnerable to unstable psychology. Use synonyms
People
speculate Use synonyms
this
might be due to the fact that violent activities seem to appear frequently Linking Words
on
viewers' Change preposition
in
mind
, and they are afraid of being attacked by other Fix the agreement mistake
minds
people
surrounding them. It is clear to some extent Use synonyms
this
might Linking Words
be result
in the alienation from their circle of acquaintances with a view to preventing themselves from being Change the verb form
result
Correct your spelling
hurt
hunted
hurted
. In conclusion, I am of the opinion that violent activities will have a serious effect on Correct your spelling
hurt
Use synonyms
Change noun form
people's
people'
behaviourCorrect your spelling
people's
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite