For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #favourite #time #activity #activities #reason

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In recent times, a lot of young

people

are keen on shopping rather than other

activities

in their leisure

time

. There are two main reasons why they follow

this

trend

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

shopping creates satisfaction and is

also

a way to kill

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time

However

, it can offer many

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

diasadvantages

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

. So they had better be involved with other

Correct your spelling

activities

activies

Correct your spelling

activities

such

as doing sports or social

activities

First

of all, young

people

feel more satisfied when they go shopping.

In other words

, they may feel

Change the word

apply

show examples

happier

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which

Correct word choice

when

show examples

they are in stores,

look

Wrong verb form

looking

show examples

and

try

Wrong verb form

trying

show examples

on items

Change preposition

from

show examples

the new collection.

For instance

, teenagers undergo a feeling of terrific when they have received a new pair of sneakers that they ordered on Amazon- an online purchase platform.

Secondly

, young

people

have more free

time

to spare so they go shopping to kill

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

time

. It means

besides

going to school on weekdays, they have nothing to do at the weekend.

Therefore

they go to supermarkets or malls to fill their empty

time

For example

, their parents are absolutely busy with their business and they just give their children money without

spend

Replace the word

spending

show examples

time

with them.

This

causes young

people

feel

Fix the infinitive

to feel

show examples

alone and shopping is effective for them to feel less empty.

Finally

, young

people

should be stimulated to take part in other social

activities

because

this

makes them more active and energetic.

Consequently

, it is really good for their mental and physical health. To conclude, many young

people

usually spend their

time

going shopping but their parents should advise them to take part in other

activities

Submitted by duchuysgu92 on Mon Nov 28 2022

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

264 words

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For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that the increasing business and cultural contact between countries is a positive development, while others think that many countries will lose their national identities as a result. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world.

University students often focus on one subject. However, some people think that universities should encourage students to learn a range of other subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a city planning manager about demolition of a historical building in your area and say – Explain why it shouldn’t be demolished. – Suggest a future use for this building. – Recommend a way to raise money for repairs.