IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, big
Correct your spelling
cities

If you don’t want citites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

citites
Correct your spelling
cities

If you don’t want citites to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

have to deal with traffic more than even a few years ago and,
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
Correct your spelling
unfortunately

If you don’t want unfortunatly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

unfortunatly
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
, that tendention is rising due to
high
Correct article usage
the high

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
 demand for new cars. I agree with that and, in my opinion, roads are really
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
over-crowded
over crowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
over-crowded
over crowded

If you don’t want overecrowded to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

overecrowded
Correct your spelling
overcrowded
 in a huge number of countries. By the way, that situation has a range of measures to solve the problem and in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
essay
Add a comma
,essay

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in this essay. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
 I will consider them.
To begin
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with, it
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become

It appears you have attempted to use the intransitive verb become in a passive voice construction. Consider writing the sentence in the active voice.

show examples
 more usual for humanity to spend 2 or 3 hours
while
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

show examples
going to work by car.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in some
countries
Add a comma
,countries

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in some countries. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
 the issue grew so much that sometimes people
forced
Add a missing verb
are forced

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
 to leave their cars just because they are late for
a work
Remove the article
work
a job

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun work in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
. I believe that the size of that subject will only grow up in the future while it
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 causes air pollution due to the usage of an enormous amount of
petrolium
Correct your spelling
petroleum

If you don’t want petrolium to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. There are some ways that governments should do to avoid traffic difficulties in the future.
First
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the consumption of
electrocars
Correct your spelling
electro cars

If you don’t want electrocars to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

becomes more popular among the
planet
Change noun form
planet's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
 population.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, that pleasure is not affordable for everyone. The authorities have to take care in that field and find ways how to decrease prices and promote
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 invention around the world.
Second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that imposing higher taxes on fuel and low costs on underground or public bicycles might be helpful as well. By the way, officials need to invest more in advertisements
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 public transport to make it more attractive for use. To
Correct your spelling
conclude
Correct your spelling
conclude

If you don’t want conlude to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

conlude
Correct your spelling
conclude
,
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 significantly important to promote new environmental-friendly machines and public vehicles which will help in avoiding traffics and saving nature. Personally,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the number of cars tends to rise more in the future, I hope there will be ways to increase social awareness.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: