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Band 3

In some developed countries, people become fat because they eat too much junk food and processed food. Discuss some problems related to it and suggest some ways that governments and food companies can encourage people to stay fit and eat a healthy diet.

#countries #people #junk #food #governments #companies #diet
Nowadays,
people
 become fat because they eat too much fast and processed
food
.
This
 essay will discuss the main problems associated
Change preposition
with
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and propose some possible solutions to avoid them. Eating unhealthy
food
 can cause a lot of problems for many
people
. One major problem is the tendency for
people
 to eat much fast
food
 but
do
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apply
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not exercise. If they do that, they will have a lot of health problems
such
 as obesity and heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
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 because processed
food
 is high in salt, fat and sugar. Another issue is laziness.
People
 nowadays spend too much time at work and don’t have time to cook so they choose processed
food
 because it’s very convenient. There are other solutions that can be used
is
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apply
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to impose heavy taxes on not only junk
food
 but
also
 those companies related to that kind of
food
. With that increasing price of that,
people
 may not purchase
for
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apply
show examples
that meal which would result in the adjustment of those companies to become friendlier to the customers.
However
,
this
 measure could easily trigger social disagreement and resentment so it must be utilized to a decent extent
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
when the problem goes to the point of desperation. In short,
to
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apply
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effectively
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
 that gravity problem depends largely on each individual.
However
, to speed up that process, the government and
food
 companies should join hands together.
Submitted by minhnguyenvic on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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