Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.
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Research has unveiled that consuming less time in the workplace can decrease the usage of different sources of
energy
, for instance
, electricity and gas. Owing to that statement, several businesses close for a few days in a week. In my ,opinion the pros outweigh the cons. In this
article, I will discuss
First and foremost, the big planet the Earth is on lacks non-renewable energy
sources like fossil fuels, and this
action can stave off our resources from consuming and using. Employees can spend more time with their family and relatives and could strong sense of sympathy and empathy among them. Workforces could be able to do leisure activities with their offspring and they will have flexible work time. This
matter is environmentally friendly and can cause the reduction of exhaust fumes, however
; staying at home may need some energy
resources for cooking, for instance
.
Secondly
, White collars and blue collars can follow their habits for their pastime and participate in the family gatherings which is held during workdays. By far and large, they could reduce and decrease the car and traffic accidents
rate by staying at home in rush hour Fix the agreement mistake
accident
for working
remotely. If they do not go to companies, the companies will not turn on their hitters and fans. The drawbacks of Change preposition
to work
this
statement are colleagues would lose their sense of empathy and it can be hard for some of them to work remotely, neither they can not hold a meeting nor brainstorm ways of improving.
By way of conclusion, On the one hand, closing companies for energy
can be a good option to choose
for reducing the usage of Verb problem
apply
energy
resources such
as gas and fossil fuels. On the other hand
, it can have a bad influence on persistence in work.Submitted by melika7amouian9 on
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Task Response
The essay adequately addresses the advantages and disadvantages of companies closing for some days a week in relation to energy conservation. However, the response focuses more on the advantages and fails to explore the disadvantages thoroughly.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is good, with clear progression from introduction to conclusion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed and provide a stronger framing for the essay.
Lexical Resource
The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary, but some words are used incorrectly, leading to imprecise meaning at times, and there are some issues with word choice and collocations.
Grammatical Range
The essay displays a relatively wide range of sentence structures and a good grasp of grammar. However, there are errors in sentence structure and tense usage, leading to occasional lack of clarity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.