Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
It is argued
by
some people that the Change preposition
apply
media
has been
affected human behaviour and Unnecessary verb
apply
it
leads to significant damage within Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
society, whereas others claim that these trends are not related to how people act. I believed that video games and especially visual Correct article usage
apply
media
have a huge impact on human’s
attitude and Change noun form
human
causes
corruption Change the verb form
cause
on
Change preposition
in
the
societies. Correct article usage
apply
Firstly
, there is a fact that all human beings act in
according to what they watch or see Change preposition
apply
since
the Change preposition
from
baby
age. Change noun form
baby's
Moreover
, some authorities warn the
parents about the harmful effect of Correct article usage
apply
TVs
and videos Fix the agreement mistake
TV
over
babies and teenagers. Change preposition
on
For example
, a trend of " Online Gangster" appear in
Change preposition
apply
a
several Correct article usage
apply
year
ago in Viet Nam was Change to a plural noun
years
Correct your spelling
spread
spreaded
by Kha Banh. A part of Correct your spelling
spread
youth
were try to copy him to fight,dissipation, destroyed property, etc after videos of Correct article usage
the youth
Correct your spelling
gangsters
gangster
gangters
life became viral on social Correct your spelling
gangsters
media
. Secondly
, some of
Change preposition
apply
people
spent Add an article
the people
to
much time on virtual work like games, anime, comics,... and have a delusional Correct your spelling
too
think
that the things on those may happen in real life. Replace the word
thinking
As a result
, some of them did some
insanely act like Correct quantifier usage
apply
kill
themselves to travel to another world Wrong verb form
killing
in game
or anime. In conclusion, in Add a hyphen
in-game
the
light of Correct article usage
apply
information
given above, I would say that social platforms and especially Correct article usage
the information
media
have a significant impact on people’s daily life, and most importantly, on societies. That’s the reason why I strongly believe that the authorities in each country should set the
rules about the restriction of using television and video games according to age groups.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by thaiannt on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite