IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is undeniable that there are
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 conflicts among the different countries compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
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 and considering it,
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the government
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government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed
forces
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.
This
Linking Words
 disquisition will discuss whether
government
Add an article
the government
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 should stop expenses after armed
forces
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 or not. To commence with, armed
forces
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 are
backbone
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the backbone
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 of any
country
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, they are not only helpful in war but
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
also
Linking Words
 be used to make peace
in
Linking Words
particular
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a particular
the particular
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country
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.
In addition
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, nearly 30% of
funds
Correct article usage
the funds
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spent
Add a missing verb
are spent
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 on
army
Correct article usage
the army
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 just to train them and
developing
Wrong verb form
develop
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 new arms and
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weaponry
weaponries
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weapons
, they are trained to make the
country
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safer
Correct article usage
a safer
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 place to live and
also
Linking Words
 they are trained specially for unpredictable situations.
For example
Linking Words
, in
flood like
Add a hyphen
flood-like
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 situations,
people
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 with special training
required
Add a missing verb
are required
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 to support normal
people
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 and at that time armed
forces
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 are used the most as a tool to
Correct your spelling
rescue
reduce
recue
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rescue
 many
people
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
primary
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the primary
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 mission of
army
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the army
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 is to ensure national security, to defend
nation
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the nation
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 from external aggression and internal threats and
also
Linking Words
 peace and security can be maintained within the borders. In some countries like India and the UK, the military was weaker compared to other
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country`s army but
Fix the agreement mistake
countries'armies
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,
these
Correct word choice
but these
show examples
Correct your spelling
countries
cuntries
Correct your spelling
countries
 spent
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 large proportion of
economy
Correct pronoun usage
their economy
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 on
military
Correct article usage
the military
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 and both ranked 3rd and 4th safest countries to live in.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if armed
forces
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 are not trained enough
then
Linking Words
 it will be
disaster
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a disaster
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 for any
country
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, as they cannot survive in war kind of situations and get defeated by other
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country`s
Fix the agreement mistake
countries'
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 aggression.
For example
Linking Words
, in recent times, the Taliban took over Afghanistan and started
Correct your spelling
ruling
pulling
rolling
rulling
Correct your spelling
ruling
 on
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Correct article usage
the people
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people
Correct article usage
the people
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 of Afghanistan, in
Correct determiner usage
this
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these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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 of situation trained armed
forces
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 are used and they fight till their
last
Linking Words
 breath to protect their
country
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. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the statement that says
government
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the government
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 should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed
forces
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 because they fight for their nation and for
Use synonyms
people
Correct article usage
the people
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 of it, they have
courage
Change the article
the courage
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 to protect the families of their
country
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 without thinking about their
country
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 and they can be used in every difficult situation.

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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