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Band 4

Obesity has been found to be a serious health hazard the world over, over the past few decades. What are the causes behind it and what are the effects of it on various sections of the community?

#obesity #health #hazard #world #decades #effects #sections #community
Nowadays, some individuals believe that the optimal remedy to environmental issues is to raise the cost of
fuel
 for several vehicles. Personally, I do not think
this
 is the best solution and will offer my opinion in the following essay.
Firstly
, increasing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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fuel
 expense cannot minimize the global dependence on
fuel
. It should be
first
 noted that even when the price of
fuel
 increases significantly, people still cannot cut down the tremendous demand for petrol at once.
For example
, in daily life, people still need to use their cars despite the fluctuation in the petrol price. Another clear reason is that petrol is
also
 intended for other applications in manufacturing industries and agricultural purposes. If the price of
fuel
 increases, the national economy could suffer many
unfavorable
Change the spelling
unfavourable
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 consequences. When it comes to reducing greenhouse gas emissions, some measures should be taken to mitigate the problems of overconsuming
fuel
. The most practical measure at the moment is to reduce the demand for resources in daily activities like
traveling
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travelling
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 or production.
This
 can be done by encouraging people to turn to mass-producing energy-efficient products like hybrid cars or implementing new
energy saving
Add a hyphen
energy-saving
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 technology in
manufacture
Wrong verb form
manufacturing
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.
Besides
, the most sustainable solution is to lower the reliance on
fuel
 by taking advantage of alternative resources. Wind and tidal power in the Netherlands, nuclear power in Japan, and solar power in the United States have all proven their efficiency in energy production. These could be employed in other parts of the world to minimize
the
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apply
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global dependence on fossil
fuel
Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
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. To recapitulate briefly, environmental issues can be controlled up to a certain limit by increasing the cost of
fuel
.
Therefore
, it's necessary that the authorities should take
Correct article usage
the initiatives
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initiatives
Fix the agreement mistake
initiative
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 of action later mentioned so overall it will help to overcome these problems. I still disagree with it for the reasons mentioned above.
Submitted by sekud on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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