Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best things a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #fear #streets #robberies #houses #person #security #support

It is

irrefutable

Correct article usage

an irrefutable

show examples

fact that the increment rate of criminal activities in society increased the fear of being robbed which is debatable and now has become more controversial. Some people believe that most robbery cases

happened

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

on the street and individuals prefer to avoid going out. In my opinion, there is a certain way to ensure security and become a victim. In

this

essay, I will shed light on the precautions with examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

thus

leading to a logical conclusion.

To begin

with, There are myriad reasons which will elaborate the trend but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that self-defence should be promoted among folks. So, everyone should

aware

Add a missing verb

be aware

show examples

of the position and how to deal with it.

In other words

, every member of the family should learn how to control the situation under the pressure of a doubtful person and certain actions should be considered on time. Another pivotal aspect of

this

trend is that automatic security gadgets should be installed in houses and offices. It would be a great help for the institutional and belonging authorities to take action against the particular position and must be aware of the news and criminal activities in the society.

For example

, many surveys indicate that criminal activities are fewer if a member of the residence is concerned about the news of the town.

Moreover

, the masses should not allow the entry of any strange person into their properties. Sometimes suspected people roam around the apartment to ensure that when their actions

would be

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

successfully attended to after the inspection and discover the amenities. It would allow the criminal to act

according to

their plan.

Furthermore

, individuals should discuss daily news with their neighbours as they are living around their homes. In certain ,situations they can help them too. To recapitulate,

according to

the aforementioned above one can reach the conclusion that the problem of robbery is successfully addressed with solutions and everyone in society, must follow the prevention. So, that they can be safe in the apartment

as well as

outside.

Submitted by sharma.divya.nid on Tue Nov 29 2022

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task response

Task Achievement: The response lacks a clear and comprehensive discussion of the topic. The examples provided are not relevant and do not effectively support the main points. Address the prompt directly and ensure that examples are well-suited to the points being made.

coherence cohesion

Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has some logical structure but lacks a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The main points are loosely connected, and the essay would benefit from clearer transitions between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall coherence and that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

343 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best things a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that government shoud only focus their spending on public services, and they cliam that spending on arts is a waste of money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people are off the opinion that giving a good first impression at an interviewer is the key securing a good job. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries crime rates among teenagers are higher than among other groups.What are the causes for this problem and what can be done to solve this?