Some people are afraid to go out for fear of being robbed on the streets. Still, there are robberies that happen inside houses. What do you think is the best things a person can do to ensure his/her own security? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is
irrefutable
Correct article usage
an irrefutable
show examples
fact that the increment rate of criminal activities in society increased the fear of being robbed which is debatable and now has become more controversial. Some people believe that most robbery cases
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
on the street and individuals prefer to avoid going out. In my opinion, there is a certain way to ensure security and become a victim. In
this
essay, I will shed light on the precautions with examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
thus
leading to a logical conclusion.
To begin
with, There are myriad reasons which will elaborate the trend but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that self-defence should be promoted among folks. So, everyone should
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of the position and how to deal with it.
In other words
, every member of the family should learn how to control the situation under the pressure of a doubtful person and certain actions should be considered on time. Another pivotal aspect of
this
trend is that automatic security gadgets should be installed in houses and offices. It would be a great help for the institutional and belonging authorities to take action against the particular position and must be aware of the news and criminal activities in the society.
For example
, many surveys indicate that criminal activities are fewer if a member of the residence is concerned about the news of the town.
Moreover
, the masses should not allow the entry of any strange person into their properties. Sometimes suspected people roam around the apartment to ensure that when their actions
would be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
successfully attended to after the inspection and discover the amenities. It would allow the criminal to act
according to
their plan.
Furthermore
, individuals should discuss daily news with their neighbours as they are living around their homes. In certain ,situations they can help them too. To recapitulate,
according to
the aforementioned above one can reach the conclusion that the problem of robbery is successfully addressed with solutions and everyone in society, must follow the prevention. So, that they can be safe in the apartment
as well as
outside.
Submitted by sharma.divya.nid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Achievement: The response lacks a clear and comprehensive discussion of the topic. The examples provided are not relevant and do not effectively support the main points. Address the prompt directly and ensure that examples are well-suited to the points being made.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has some logical structure but lacks a well-organized introduction and conclusion. The main points are loosely connected, and the essay would benefit from clearer transitions between ideas. Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall coherence and that the introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: