Today, the internet and TV have created that chance for ordinary people to become famous. Is it a positive or negative development?

#internet #tv #chance #people #development

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Nowadays , the

development

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of the

internet

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has changed the way we

lived

Wrong verb form

live

show examples

and the majority of

people

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have the chance to become a known person

such

Linking Words

as famous on social media . Some

people

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argue that a

lot

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of drawbacks to being famous .

Others

Correct quantifier usage

Other

show examples

people

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believe it is a positive

development

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. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

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I completely agree

this

Linking Words

development

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will bring a

lot

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of benefits, and in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will explain why and draw my own conclusion. First of all, the

internet

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and TV has improved our

life

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and made them easier to live.

This

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is because the majority of ordinary

people

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now can easily become famous and have many fans on social media

such

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as Snapchat , Instagram and TikTok, and they can have and bring a big amount of money from

this

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For example

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people

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who work in an international company do not get high salaries and their salaries are between 3000 to 5000$ which is not enough to live today, and the

internet

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gives them the opportunity to gain a

lot

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of money by just taking a picture of their

life

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and download it for everyone to can see.

On the other hand

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, despite the benefits points of being ,famous there are a few disadvantages to

this

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Firstly

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, that might provide dangers for the famous’s

life

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. The reason behind

this

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is there are many

people

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who are creasy or psychopaths that might track them anywhere .

Secondly

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, actors and ,singers who are popular do not have a private

life

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and they should show their

life

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to the world and explain to them every single detail Of their

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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which is extremely hard for humans .

For instance

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, they can not have a private moment with their family or friends in a luxury restaurant without

people

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around them . In conclusion ,

although

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the

development

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of the

internet

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and being famous easily can bring a few drawbacks. The majority of ordinary

people

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became

Wrong verb form

have become

show examples

rich now and have a

lot

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of benefits of because the

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internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

Therefore

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I believe that the positive sides outweigh the negatives .

Submitted by Noufalbahouth5 on Tue Nov 29 2022

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task achievement

Ensure that all aspects of the prompt are properly addressed and provide more relevant and specific examples.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Today, the internet and TV have created that chance for ordinary people to become famous. Is it a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that being good at a sport is result of talent while others think that it comes from hard work. Discuss both views and give your reasons.

Nowadays, many people have easy access to computers and a large number of children play computer games.

Some employers want to be able to contact their staff all the time including holidays. Do you think the advantages of this are more than its disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?