IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe that it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this?

#places #homes #space #countryside #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It has been noted that
homes
Use synonyms
 are scarce and so
families
Use synonyms
 are beginning to move to the
countryside
Use synonyms
 to erect new
homes
Use synonyms
. While
this
Linking Words
 occurrence has its advantages like
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of these
areas
Use synonyms
, living in a serene
environment
Use synonyms
 and being closer to nature, there are disadvantages that outweigh the advantages. These disadvantages include loss or reduction in
areas
Use synonyms
 where
families
Use synonyms
 can go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for recreational purposes, wildlife in these
areas
Use synonyms
 would
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 habitat and probably go extinct and increase
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
deforestation. Many
families
Use synonyms
 like to visit the
Countryside
Use synonyms
 once or twice
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 year as part of a Vacation or for recreational purposes,
this
Linking Words
 enables them to rest from their busy
Correct your spelling
work life
worklife
Correct your spelling
work life
 in the city.
This
Linking Words
 will not be possible if
homes
Use synonyms
 are constructed in the
Countryside
Use synonyms
, as the purpose of rest and serenity will be obliterated because the
Correct your spelling
presence
prescence
Correct your spelling
presence
 of buildings and
homes
Use synonyms
 will convert
this
Linking Words
 formerly serene
environment
Use synonyms
 to an
environment
Use synonyms
 close to that of a city.
Secondly
Linking Words
, a lot of
animals
Use synonyms
 like rabbits, snakes and squirrels inhabit the
Countryside
Use synonyms
. Putting up buildings here would mean
destruction
Add an article
the destruction
show examples
 of the habitat of these
animals
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
 these
animals
Use synonyms
 will be homeless and most probably killed by the occupants of
Linking Words
this new residential
Change the determiner
this new residential area
these new residential areas
show examples
areas
Use synonyms
 as
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 would see them as pests and a disturbance. Many of these
animals
Use synonyms
 could go extinct in
this
Linking Words
 process.
Linking Words
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
Further more
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
show examples
, deforestation will be on the increase, as definitely, trees and bushes will have to be cleared for these residential structures to be put up.
This
Linking Words
 could bring about
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
 of valuable greenery and
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in the amount of
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
, as these trees and bushes are useful in converting
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
carbondioxide
Correct your spelling
carbon dioxide
 to
Correct your spelling
oxygen
oxyen
Correct your spelling
oxygen
. In conclusion, it is important that the
Countryside
Use synonyms
 remains as it is, as a means of preserving our
environment
Use synonyms
 and preventing the disadvantages listed above.
High rise
Add a hyphen
High-rise
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 can be built in the cities where
families
Use synonyms
 can make their
homes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by enaughetheresa on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: