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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is argued that the parents of children who break the rules should be punished in some ways as parents are responsible for the children’s actions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children #rules #children’s #actions
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Children
Use synonyms
's behaviour is part of
kids
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 learning, and
parents
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 have a responsibility to pay attention to their
kids
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, be cautious
to
Change preposition
apply
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observant and do the right things. From my point of view that I agree with punishing their heir by their own
parents
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, but it should in conditions. The action of
children
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 mostly come from mimetic vision, which watches surrounding people,
teaching
Wrong verb form
teaches
show examples
 from home or school and copying from online media.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, the duties of
parents
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 must have to talk in
terms
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 and teach in primary, about what to do in daily life, including imposing conditions when there misbehave. Should impose the conditions with reasoning with their child, if they act mistake in sometimes,
parents
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 will warning. But they are doing a mistake several times
,
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apply
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 and must have infliction in each case. All of the above, in ,
terms
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do
Correct pronoun usage
that do
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 not harm
children
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, should be talked about the reasons before and after punishment, to explain the reason why have
punished
Add a missing verb
been punished
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. Punishment at the present time has plenty of definitions from teaching discipline to aggressive torture, in
terms
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 of teaching discipline can consult with a
kids
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' psychologist to suggest how to punish in the right way.
Moreover
Linking Words
, aggressive torture is abusing a child, affecting them mentally and physically, from their acting and wording. The acting of
parents
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 conducts the behaviour of
children
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 in the future. In my opinion, I prefer to agree with punishing
kids
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 if their break the rules, in
terms
Use synonyms
 of no abusing and having a consult before inflicting, that does not affect them mentally and physically.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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