Some people believe that sports competitions are a source of emotional stress for young people. Therefore, youth should be banned from participating in sports competitions. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is
belief
Add an article
a belief
the belief
show examples
among some people that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
Use synonyms
competitions are not good for emotional
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
in the youth and should
be refrain
Change the verb form
refrain
show examples
from participating in
sports
Use synonyms
. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement because
sports
Use synonyms
help in overall mental and physical development.
Sports
Use synonyms
competitions
dates
Change the verb form
date
show examples
back thousands of years to Greek civilization which gave birth to
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games. The Greeks believed that
sports
Use synonyms
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
were equally important as much as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
politics and diplomacy. Taking an example of studies conducted by the
Univeristy
Correct your spelling
University
of Western Sydney,
children
Use synonyms
who actively participate in
sports
Use synonyms
show signs of early mental development.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
development helps young ones in handling
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
, banning or limiting
sports
Use synonyms
competitions will do more harm than good as little or no
Correct your spelling
competition
competion
Correct your spelling
competition
will result in no
sports
Use synonyms
participation.
This
Linking Words
is
proven
Correct article usage
a proven
show examples
fact that the bigger the reward bigger the participation will be in any activity.
This
Linking Words
will negatively
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the health of the
children
Use synonyms
who are already
Add an article
a victim
the victim
show examples
victim
Fix the agreement mistake
victims
show examples
of problems like obesity, mental health etc.
For example
Linking Words
, the
sports
Use synonyms
time allocated with the education module helps
children
Use synonyms
vent out the stress of studies and exams, which in general keeps them healthy. Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Add an article
the children
show examples
who are interested in making
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
in
sports
Use synonyms
may get discouraged to participate. In conclusion, I would disagree that
sports
Use synonyms
ranking causes emotional distress
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
on
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
they teach how to control and react to certain emotions and lead a healthy lifestyle.
Sports
Use synonyms
and related activities should be increased for all round
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: