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Band 5

Some business prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree?

#business #offices #governments #places
Nowadays, one of the widely discussed issues is that local
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 have been banning smoking
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 in
Add an article
the workplace
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workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
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 and public areas. Personally, I tend to consider that
this
 point of view is well grounded,
however
 according to some should be prohibited in all spots.
First
 and foremost it is well-known, in public areas all
of
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apply
show examples
individuals
Add an article
the individuals
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 have not been able to smoke since most
of
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apply
show examples
laws
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the laws
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 were created to ban smoking . Take Arabic countries as an example, in Dubai, according to the law , all
of
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apply
show examples
people
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the people
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 do not manage to do
such
 activities , even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 will be
tourist
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tourists
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,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should pay taxes as a punishment if they smoke a cigarette in some place
where
Correct word choice
that
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 is extremely crowded. Another oblivious
benefits
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benefit
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 of
this
 agreement
is
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are
show examples
 that
veto
Correct article usage
the veto
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 of smoking is
effective
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an effective
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 method to stay healthy.
To begin
 with, it can
be cause
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be caused
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 to
develop
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development
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many
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of many
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 serious deceases especially lung sicknesses which are becoming more common among not only elders but
also
 the huge amount of illness is
interested
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interesting
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 among youngsters since they have a longing to smoke in
the
Change the word
their
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 adult ages.
Therefore
 they will have
a
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apply
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lung
sickness
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sicknesses
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such
 as cancer and asthma .
For example
, scientist
Mr.
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Mr
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 David found that smog which is emitted by cigarettes
,
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apply
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 are so harmful
for
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to
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human
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a human
the human
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 who
are
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is
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next
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smokers
thus
, they will get about 90 per cent of
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 effects of cigarettes ,
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smokers will obtain only ten
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of it
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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this
 reason, it is banned in
Replace the word
most
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mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 places all over the world. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that most
of
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apply
show examples
countries
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the countries
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 forbidden smoking in overcrowded areas. In my opinion, it opens the door to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more beneficial effects.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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