IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some business prohibit smoking in any of their offices. Some governments have banned smoking in all public places. Do you agree or disagree?

#business #offices #governments #places
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Nowadays, one of the widely discussed issues is that local
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
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 have been banning smoking
in
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apply
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everywhere
especially
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,especially
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 in
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the workplace
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workplace
Fix the agreement mistake
workplaces
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 and public areas. Personally, I tend to consider that
this
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 point of view is well grounded,
however
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 according to some should be prohibited in all spots.
First
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 and foremost it is well-known, in public areas all
of
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apply
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individuals
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the individuals
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 have not been able to smoke since most
of
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apply
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laws
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the laws
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 were created to ban smoking . Take Arabic countries as an example, in Dubai, according to the law , all
of
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apply
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people
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the people
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 do not manage to do
such
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 activities , even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 will be
tourist
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tourists
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,
they
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apply
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should pay taxes as a punishment if they smoke a cigarette in some place
where
Correct word choice
that
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 is extremely crowded. Another oblivious
benefits
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benefit
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 of
this
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 agreement
is
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are
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 that
veto
Correct article usage
the veto
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 of smoking is
effective
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an effective
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 method to stay healthy.
To begin
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 with, it can
be cause
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be caused
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 to
develop
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development
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many
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of many
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 serious deceases especially lung sicknesses which are becoming more common among not only elders but
also
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 the huge amount of illness is
interested
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interesting
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 among youngsters since they have a longing to smoke in
the
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their
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 adult ages.
Therefore
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 they will have
a
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apply
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lung
sickness
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sicknesses
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such
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 as cancer and asthma .
For example
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, scientist
Mr.
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Mr
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 David found that smog which is emitted by cigarettes
,
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apply
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 are so harmful
for
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to
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human
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a human
the human
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 who
are
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is
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next
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 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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smokers
thus
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, they will get about 90 per cent of
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
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 effects of cigarettes ,
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however
Add the comma(s)
,however
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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smokers will obtain only ten
percent
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per cent
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 of it
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
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this
Linking Words
 reason, it is banned in
Replace the word
most
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mostly
Correct your spelling
most
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 places all over the world. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say that most
of
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apply
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countries
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the countries
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is
Change the verb form
are
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 forbidden smoking in overcrowded areas. In my opinion, it opens the door to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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more beneficial effects.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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